Still Waters Run Deep
by Cicatrix6
Summary: Naruto starts to take a great interest in the ANBU black ops. They're strong, they're mysterious…and those masks! They're so cool! However, several people do not want Naruto to join the ANBU and it is up to a certain someone to make him understand why. Post-war setting. [eventual KakaNaru kakashiXnaruto] YAOI. for updating news please check my profile :)
1. ANBU here, ANBU there, ANBU everywhere

After a week of seeing about twenty members of the ANBU black ops every day in Konoha, Naruto had become curious. Why were there so many of them lurking around the leaf village these days? Or was it just his selective perception? Well, the ANBU members did stand out of the rest of the inhabitants of Konoha quite a bit, with their dark uniforms and those trademark animal masks. They certainly weren't hard to detect walking around in broad daylight like that, and yet everyone knew they were the sneakiest shinobi, if anything. After all, they were assigned all the undercover missions which required enormous skill and of course trust between the Hokage and them.

Naruto's brow creased in thought. Would old lady Tsunade ever trust him like that? Tell him all the nasty details of Konoha, its alliances or other nations, about which everyone else was kept in the dark? Perhaps he should go see the blonde woman today and ask her some things about the ANBU. Of course he knew roughly what they did, but still there were many secrets about them, and Naruto, being the curious person he had always been, was quite eager to find out more about those sneaky masked ninja.

The seventeen-year old genin was torn out of his thoughts when he suddenly bumped into someone.

"Hey, watch out where you're going, will you?"

He almost couldn't believe it. Another ANBU member!

"Oh, ah, sorry, Mister!" he apologized sheepishly, scratching the back of his head as he quickly walked away. The man didn't exactly sound very friendly, snapping at him like that. How rude!

When he reached the other corner of the street, he risked a longer stare at the tall man with the bird-mask and scanned the man's appearance. He was well-built, his defined biceps clearly visible due to the fact that most ANBU didn't wear long-sleeved shirts like regular shinobi did. But there were some other things about those ANBU guys which fascinated him far more than the different uniform: those masks. They gave them this aura of mystery, like the one Kakashi-sensei had – although his aura was more annoying than mysterious, or annoying because of being so mysterious. After knowing him for, what, _five_ years, he _still_ had never seen the man's damn face! And he couldn't help feeling upset about it. Why could his sensei trust him with his life but not trust him enough to let him see his face?

Nevertheless, he was convinced that one day he would definitely see what his sensei hid underneath that piece, or rather pieces of cloth. And Naruto Uzumaki never went back on his word.

Realizing that the ANBU member he had run into was gone now, Naruto made his way to the Hokage tower. Hehe, which grandmother didn't just love visits from her favorite grandchild? Naruto snickered inwardly at the thought of Tsunade having a snit fit once he burst through the door of her office. But nah, he wasn't that much of a kid anymore to do that, and besides, he would have to try to get on her good side if he wanted top secret information about the ANBU.

When he reached the Hokage tower, he hastily walked in through the main entrance and almost ran up the stairs leading to Tsunade's office. Reaching the door, he slowed down his pace, took a deep breath to calm himself from the quick walk, and then he knocked on the door like a polite little genin. He gripped the doorknob and smoothly pushed open the door with a confident smile on his face. But what he saw in the Hokage's office immediately made him gape in surprise and annoyance. Standing in front of Tsunade's desk was yet another member of the black ops! What the hell?!

"That'll be all, Isamu. You are dismissed. Brat, what brings you here? I have no mission for you if that's what you came here for!"

The ANBU member poofed away, leaving a cloud of smoke and an angrily glaring blond ninja behind. Naruto stepped forward and deciding to come straight to the point, he said, "I don't have a mission request, baa-chan. I came here because I would like you to tell me more about the ANBU black ops."

Tsunade shifted in her chair, crossed her legs and raised her brows, then changed her expression to a frown. The ANBU black ops?

"What do you want to know about them, or rather, why do you want to know more about them than what you already do?"

"Well, I only know that they do all kinds of assassinations, tracking, surveillance and those things on a really high level and that they are under your direct control. But that's about it. I've been walking around the village a lot these days and I don't think I've ever encountered so many ANBU black ops out there in my life. So I got curious. Just now there was that ANBU in your office, and believe me, I've been bumping into these ANBU guys a lot lately. So you really can't blame me for asking."

True, Tsunade couldn't blame him, and it didn't sound like Naruto was up to something, but just to be sure about that, she would prolong their conversation.

"You want to know what exactly the black ops do?" she said.

"Yeah! And how do you even become one of them?"

"Well, I can tell you this – the ANBU do top-secret missions, which is why I cannot enlighten you more on that subject. Top-secret means top-secret, and only ANBU and council members are allowed to know the specific details."

"But baa-chan! I won't tell anyone anything, I promise! I just really want to know what they're doing, working in the background like that!"

Tsunade was becoming impatient. Why was Naruto always so extremely persistent?

"Look, I really can't tell you any more than what you already know. And concerning the ANBU admission criteria, all I can say is that it is up to my individual decision which shinobi I include in the black ops team. Strength, skill, teamwork and the ability to also work individually are some of the most important criteria. I know this answer won't satisfy you, but just deal with it. Now get out and enjoy your day off like any other normal shinobi and let me get back at doing this paperwork!"

Whoa, Tsunade sounded angry. But still, Naruto would never be the person who would just "deal" with things, if he did, he simply wouldn't be Naruto. And the big-breasted Hokage ought to know that.

"Come on, baa-chan! Regular shinobi also need to be strong, skillful and able to work in a team as well as individually. So the ANBU do the more dangerous missions no one else knows about, I get it. But why don't you trust me?"

"Naruto, this conversation won't lead you anywhere except out of the door, or out of the window if you aggravate me any further. I trust you, but I also trust my other shinobi and I wouldn't tell them anything about the undercover missions the ANBU are assigned to either."

Suddenly, an idea hit Naruto. If Tsunade only told _members_ of the ANBU about ANBU missions_…_

"What if_ I_ wanted to become part of the ANBU black ops?"

The blonde woman's left eye twitched. Naruto? Part of the ANBU? Surprisingly enough, she didn't yell back, she just snorted.

"You? An ANBU black op? Look kid, we all know you're strong. We all also know you can work well in a team and that you can also take care of yourself. But you're still too unpredictable and for Kami-sama's sake, you are _anything_ but subtle and sneaky! You are loud and you love the spotlight, that's great but let me tell you this: those aren't the traits an ANBU member should have. I'll buy you some ramen if you're able to figure out why."

Naruto must not have been listening to the second half of her speech because before he knew it, Tsunade was waving her hand in front of his face and he was lost to her attempts to call him back to reality.

"Naruto! I'm talking to you!"

His gaze met hers and he seemed a bit too calm for someone who had just been torn out of a reverie.

"Huh? Oh. Right. Sorry about that. What did you say?"

"I was saying that being an ANBU isn't exactly a walk around the block. In fact, it's all the dirty work other ninja would never really want to do. That ANBU who was in here before you came had asked to be released from ANBU duty, because he couldn't stand it anymore. It's really hard work."

"Well, okay, but still I'm sure regular ninja also should be subtle and sneaky. And you're right, I'm loud. So wouldn't it be best if you perhaps temporarily let me work among the ANBU so they can teach me a lesson in subtlety? I haven't had a mission in ages and before I just sit around wasting my time, I could do some training, right? So you could let me tag along with some of those ANBU guys and maybe I'll learn something from them."

Tsunade sighed and shook her head. That was Naruto. And in order to keep him from doing something stupid, she had to think about something which could satisfy the seventeen-year-old. Well, letting him stay among the black ops certainly wouldn't be an option. So perhaps...Yes!

"All right, all right, I know what you're trying to get at. Look. If you're really that eager to do something, I will assign you a mission, one I'd normally have an ANBU team accomplish. Not because it is so terribly difficult, in fact, it's merely a B-rank, but because most regular shinobi would start complaining about the harsh weather. You will be going to Yukigakure in the Land of Snow*****, so you might want to bring extra clothes with you. It's very cold there. You will be staying at this"- she pointed at the mission description sheet – "little cottage. It's just one room, but it'll offer you protection from snow storms and the sort. Your job will be to find out whether anyone tries to intrude, because some criminals supposedly seek this cottage after committing crimes. Do you accept the mission?"

Naruto smiled triumphantly and gave a determined nod as he took the mission description sheet out of Tsunade's hand.

"Sure! I'll pack my stuff right away!"

"That's good to hear. Naruto?"

He turned around and let his eyes meet Tsunade's.

"Be alert, be subtle and be careful."

"I will, baa-chan, you'll see! This whole thing will be a piece of cake!"

With that, Naruto walked out of the mission room and bolted to Ichiraku to chow down on some ramen before heading to his appartment to get his things packed.

* * *

*** Yukigakure/Land of Snow: **don't think about what happened in the first Naruto movie _Ninja Clash in the Land of Snow. _I just needed a village in the winter, so I just took Yukigakure. The plot of the movie is absolutely irrelevant to this fanfiction.

**Timeline**: a few months after the 4th shinobi war.

**Attention**: some things will deviate from the canon. - slight AU


	2. An Unexpected Encounter

It took Naruto three dreadfully boring days to get to the Land of Snow. He had to travel by ship and was more than glad when he finally reached the ever snowy capital. When he disembarked, he could feel the cold air stinging his lungs like hundreds of sharp needles with every breath. It was then that he realized he had forgotten his scarf. Damn it! His body was too used to mild or even warm temperatures and he would have to adjust quickly to the different climate if he wanted to accomplish his mission here without freezing to death. But no weather condition would ever keep him from doing what he wanted to do, so he left the harbor and tried to find his way to the cottage he would be staying at during this assignment with the help of the small map Tsunade had given him before he had left the Leaf Village.

Realizing that he wasn't going to make it to the cottage before nightfall anyway, he walked a bit slower than usual, watching some children play in the snow. His heart cringed slightly whenever he saw children having fun with their friends, since he had not been granted that privilege as a kid.

The sinking feeling in his stomach was replaced with a more pleasant one as he thought about his friends and reminded himself that the past was the past. HA! Now practically everyone in Konoha acknowledged him, and those who had mistreated him throughout his entire childhood knew that he deserved more than hateful glares and scolding. Things were better now, including his ninja career. After all, he had already surpassed Kakashi-sensei and other strong ninja. Now he would try to brush up his skills to reach ANBU level and kick some more butt. Yeah! He was on a real ANBU black ops mission, even though he wasn't an ANBU himself. Yep, he sure knew how to coax old grandma Tsunade into bringing some action in his shinobi life. Well, more or less.

After some time he could already recognize the cottage. It was situated on a hill with an impressive view of the moonlit Snow Village. He could have almost heard the silence if it weren't for the disturbingly loud sound of his chattering teeth. Whatever, it wasn't like he had anyone to share a romantic moment with on a snowy hill under the moonlight. So he decided to get inside the cottage as quickly as possible. He was freezing and tired and really just wanted a warm, dry place where he could stay at night.

* * *

When he finally reached the cottage, he was glad to find it unlocked, so he stepped right in. Unfortunately it was so dark he couldn't see a thing, but he soon came up with a clever idea to fix that problem. He molded some chakra and created a Rasengan, not for an attack of course, but as a light source so that he could actually see where he was going. He smiled in a very satisfied manner at how his favorite jutsu did not only come in handy on the battle field. The light blue mass of chakra illuminated the room enough for him to be able to recognize a small single bed and a nightstand at the left back corner of the room.

There was a small fireplace and a little wooden table with two chairs near the other corner and as he walked a bit more to the front, he could see two other doors. He opened the first door and found a tiny kitchen behind it; the bathroom that thankfully also had a shower cabin was behind the other door. That was it. The cottage was bare and anything but cozy, but it offered him shelter and really, a ninja didn't need a fancy hotel room to spend the night. So he put his backpack on one of the chairs and unzipped it to take out his spare clothes, some candles and matches, his toothbrush and toothpaste and other body hygiene products which he brought to the bathroom.

When he had finished getting ready for the night, he walked to the fireplace and made a fire, hoping that the cottage would get warmer very soon. He then returned to the bed and let his exhausted body fall on the mattress. He pulled the blanket over him and reflected what Grandma Tsunade had told him about the mission. He would have to stay in or near the cottage practically all the time for a week on his own, and only now did he realize how boring this mission would be. He wished he had some sort of company, but unfortunately he had been so excited to be assigned an ANBU black ops mission that he had completely forgotten to consider asking Tsunade whether someone could accompany him. Then again, that might have sounded as though he was too scared of being on a solo-mission, and he definitely did not want to put himself in the position of a fraidy cat. Still, a two man's mission would be much more fun - as long as his teammate wasn't Sai. Thinking about his friends and fellow ninja, he soon drifted off to sleep.

* * *

Naruto awoke in the middle of the night when he heard something that sounded like a door creaking slightly. He quickly rubbed his eyes and lit the candle on the nightstand. His eyes scanned the room but could not detect anything out of the ordinary, so he eyed the door again. He could distinctly remember how he had locked it after he had unpacked his things . . . There was no way an intruder could have entered the cottage. Even the windows were all locked . . . weren't they?

He walked towards one of them and checked it when suddenly someone grabbed his arms and his waist from behind and roughly pushed him to the wall. He screamed, feeling his heart nearly jump out of his ribcage, it was beating so fast.

"**AAURGH LET ME GO**!" he yelled, feeling terribly defenseless in this position, pinned against the wall with his head facing it. He didn't have the chance to escape or to at least see who was standing behind him!

"_This_ is what it means to be sneaky, Naruto."

The intruder slowly released his hard grip on him, but still held his arms so as to prevent Naruto from kicking him in the gut as a first counter reaction. He carefully turned around and Naruto was left dumbfounded. Right there in front of him stood none other than Kakashi Hatake, smiling with his right eye and chuckling.

Naruto, trying to catch the breath he had lost yelling, was finally able to speak again.

"_Sensei_?! W-What are you doing here?"

To say he was surprised would have been a blatant understatement. He was shocked and pissed and wanted to know what his sensei would have as an answer. Immediately. Thankfully, Kakashi continued to speak soon enough.

"Lady Tsunade told me all about this new interest of yours in the ANBU. She also asked me if I could join you on your mission here," the silver-haired jounin said, now letting go of Naruto's arms. Big mistake. As soon as Naruto's arms were free, he punched Kakashi – as he had expected him to do so a minute earlier – in the gut, quite hard too. All right, maybe he deserved that a bit.

"That's what you get for being such a sneaky creeper! Man, sensei! Why did you have to scare me like that! I just wanted some rest after this long trip!"

Kakashi placed his hand on his stomach to slightly ease the pain.

"All right, I apologize to have disturbed your sleep. Then again, I really could have been some enemy. A ninja must always be alert, even subconsciously while sleeping. I'm glad you heard the small noise, though I'm sure you can learn something from this little incident. Maybe next time you'll be able to hear me come and detect me before I could attack you," Kakashi said in his usual carefree tone, though Naruto could sense that his teacher had found this situation quite amusing. Damn him.

"How did you even get in? I swear the door was locked and the windows were closed as well."

"Window-intrusion is one of my specialties. You're right, the door was locked, but the kitchen window wasn't. Maybe it wasn't your fault and there is something wrong with the lock. I just had to push it open and I managed to come in. So . . . I came in through the kitchen window and walked in through the kitchen door."

His lone eye was curved in an upside-down u-shape and he looked . . . amused. Huh, sure, _he_ had a reason to laugh at him.

Naruto was sure Kakashi-sensei wouldn't like it if he were woken in the middle of the night by . . . him! At least if he had been an enemy . . . or no, actually, he was glad that it was Kakashi who had been the intruder and not one of the criminals who apparently came here regularly. After all, it was his first night here and he really didn't want to lose his life _here _in a silly little cottage. That would be so uncool – he wanted his name to be written in the history books someday, not in the _Konoha Great Book of Records- Special Edition: Most Unspectacular Deaths of Ninja Prodigies._ To be sure.

"I still don't get why Grandma Tsunade sent _you_ here. I mean, this was supposed to be a solo-mission and originally it was an ANBU-black-ops assignment. I've been on solo-missions before, you know, so it's not like I couldn't handle this thing on my own! If she had to insist on sending someone to accompany me, why didn't she send an ANBU member from whom I could learn the real ANBU sneaky skills? Not to say I can't learn them from you, you're awesome sensei, I know that! But –"

"Don't worry about it, Naruto. You see . . . she sent me here because, " Kakashi held up his hand and looked Naruto directly in the eyes, "I used to be an ANBU member myself. And I'm here to give you an idea of how they work."

For the second time that night, Naruto stood there dumbfounded.

"You were part of the ANBU black ops?"

"That's right," he said happily.

Kakashi's avowal made Naruto's eyes grow several degrees wider and he looked like he had just seen a ghost or had been told the biggest secret. The jounin couldn't help but find Naruto's reaction just too funny.

"I first joined them a few months before I turned 14 and stayed with them until about three years before I became your sensei," he added with a big eye smile.

Naruto almost couldn't believe it. Not that it was so much out of the ordinary that Kakashi could have been an ANBU; after all he had a really awesome sensei who could do just about anything – including keeping nearly everything about his life to himself. That was what always managed to surprise him. But then he remembered Kakashi's tattoo on his left arm which he had seen when the silver-haired man was hospitalized. He had known for a long time what the logo of the ANBU black ops looked like, so why had the possibility or rather fact of Kakashi having strong connections to the ANBU never crossed his mind? He really never had thought about Kakashi's tattoo again after seeing he had seen it for the first time. Why did he never really see the details but just the big picture, if anything?

"Naruto? You okay?" Kakashi said, tapping the teen lightly on the shoulder.

"Huh? Oh, sorry. I was just thinking."

"You should go back to sleep. I still have to unpack my stuff."

Kakashi walked out of the room and opened the door to the kitchen where his backpack was. He unpacked it and carried most of the stuff into the bathroom and stayed there for a while. It sounded like he was taking a shower, so Naruto went back to the bed and reflected the day's, or rather the night's events.

So Kakashi had been an ANBU, huh? He really hoped the man would tell him all about his life back then. It seemed like his sensei somehow owed him an explanation. Really, what was it with Kakashi-sensei? Why did he never really tell anyone, not even his close comrades – well, he at least thought he was one of his closer comrades – _anything_ about himself? He just didn't get it. He just found this secrecy totally overrated.

He was about to drift into sleep for the second time that night when he heard Kakashi open the bathroom door and saw him come out, wearing a pair of night pants and a fresh long-sleeved shirt with the obligatory mask attached to it of course. Man, he really had to love that stupid piece of cloth a lot if he even wanted to sleep with it.

His sensei met his gaze and smiled with his eye again.

"Naruto?"

"Huh?"

"I have my camping futon with me but I must admit that I get terrible backaches whenever I sleep on the floor. So I was wondering if you could perhaps roll over a bit and let me sleep in the bed."

Naruto's eye twitched. Kakashi-sensei was asking him to share that narrow bed? And the man was still smiling with his eye! He was just plain weird!

"Uh, don't you think the bed is a little too uh . . . small for um . . . the both of us?"

He had to swallow hard when he said the last part. Kakashi noticed this, along with the teen's growing blush, and decided to make this a little fun.

"Ah, that's okay. It's very cold and it would keep the both of us warmer if we were exposed to each other's body temperature," Kakashi elaborated easily, as though it were the most normal thing in the world for two men to sleep next to each other in a very narrow bed.

Before Naruto could say anything, he sat down on the front of the bed with his hands on the cover and a big smile with his eye. He chuckled inwardly at how Naruto obviously wasn't comfortable with being so close to him.

"H-Hey! Wait sensei!"

Kakashi eyed his student, curiously looking forward to what the teen wanted to say.

"I – I think I'd rather sleep on my futon. If you've got back problems, I'll let you have the bed for yourself, so you won't have to tense up too much and worry about ah . . . maybe kicking me while you're asleep. So I guess . . . well, I'll just go and fetch my futon, I guess," he stammered, getting out of the bed in a very fast motion.

He was pissed. His sensei had not only attacked and surprised him that night, but also scared him out off the bed! He could swear the man had done it on purpose. Back problems his ass! Why would Kakashi of all people, a fit, healthy and agile man, suddenly suffer from back problems? He had been on missions with the tall jounin a lot and never had he mentioned anything about how uncomfortable sleeping on a futon was. And the guts he had to ask him if he would share that bed with him! Gah!

But then he thought about how he had wished earlier that day to have some company. Now he had it, even if it was Kakashi-sensei. He respected the man for many things, but why did he have to be such a creepy-ass? Shaking his head, he relaxed against his futon and closed his eyes.

Kakashi smiled. He had managed to get the blond out of the bed without even using his hands. Now he could sprawl out comfortably under the covers that were still warm from Naruto's body heat. How cozy! He mentally patted himself on the back for his ability to sweet-talk anyone and always get his way. He was glad Tsunade had sent him to join Naruto on this mission because being with the boy was always fun, even if it was at Naruto's expense. But tomorrow onwards the real fun would start. With pleasant plans for the following day, he soon drifted into a blissful sleep.


	3. Twisted

Kakashi woke up the next morning, realizing that Naruto was still sound asleep. The kid was curled up in a fetal position on his futon, tightly hugging his blanket to his chest.

Aw. . . He couldn't help but smile at the cute sight. Deciding not to disturb Naruto's peaceful slumber just yet, he quietly got out of bed. He stretched himself, letting his joints crack audibly. He then looked out of the window to check if it was still snowing. It was, and it sure looked quite uncomfortable outside. Oh well, nothing he or Naruto couldn't handle, especially since they were to stay in or near the cottage most of the time which meant that they wouldn't have to be exposed too long to the harsh weather.

He walked to the bathroom to get ready for the day. He had taken his time showering, something he rarely did at home because he wasn't too keen on spending too much money on water costs, so he only took very long, hot showers after really tough missions. But now he could stay much longer under the soothing warm water without a bad conscience since he didn't have to pay anything for the little cottage. When he was freshened up and dressed, he went back to the main room to wake his comrade.

"Naruto."

Seeing no reaction from the boy, he kneeled down to Naruto's futon, placed a hand on the teen's shoulder and gently shook him awake.

"Naruto. Wake up."

"H- huh?"

Naruto's eyes cracked open and saw his teacher crouching next to him.

"Oh . . . Hey sensei", he managed to say, though he still was tired as hell.

"Get ready; we've got stuff to do today."

"Yeah, yeah, I'm up already," Naruto yawned, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. If his sensei hadn't burst in last night he surely wouldn't have been so tired now.

Kakashi left with not another word, heading to the kitchen, obviously getting his stupid Icha Icha book from his backpack and not making breakfast since the cottage had been deserted and neither he nor Naruto had brought any food with them. They'd need to change that, so he took out a piece of paper from his little notebook and scribbled a shopping list on it.

Naruto's hazy mind led his feet quite uncoordinatedly to the bathroom. After closing the door he undressed, stepped into the shower cabin, turned on the water and –

"**AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHOHMYGOD THAT'S COLD!**" he yelled, not caring about anyone being able to hear him. The water was _freezing_ cold and his heart nearly turned to ice as the jet of water spurt against his chest!

Kakashi was lying in bed reading his book when he heard his student's screams. Was the water really that cold? When he had showered the water temperature had been perfectly agreeable. In fact, it had been so pleasantly warm that he had taken his sweet time in the shower. Oh, right. It was _because _he had taken his sweet time in the shower that the water was so cold now. Mh . . . This was bad. Now he would have to put up with an angry teen and he would also have to think of a plan for the following mornings. If he let Naruto shower first, there was the risk that _he_ would have to suffer from the cold water if he was to shower next, and he certainly didn't want that. Adding a little more thought to it, he soon came up with an idea that made his lips curve to a smirk of satisfaction. Chuckling, he turned his attention back to his story until Naruto came in.

A couple of minutes later the blond returned to the main room with a towel wrapped around his waist and an angry glare on his face. His teeth were chattering and he wordlessly grabbed his clothes which were untidily piled on the chair.

"Had a nice time in the shower?" Kakashi asked, giving his notorious eye-smile as if he hadn't just heard Naruto screaming from the top of his lungs. Naruto's glare became even darker.

"Don't tell me the water wasn't cold when _you_ showered, sensei!"

"It wasn't."

The feisty genin's eye twitched in anger.

"Man, sensei, do you know what this _means_?"

"Yes."

"Augh, I can't believe it! And you're pretending you didn't hear me scream and – "

"All right Naruto, calm down now. Your body was exposed to freezing water, sorry for that but look at the bright side – you're wide awake now and we can now properly get started with our plans for today."

Naruto grit his teeth in annoyance, but decided to give in. He was in no mood for an argument now; he just wanted to get dressed. So he hastily walked back into the bathroom where he put on his clothes.

Stupid sensei! He would have to make sure that either he woke up earlier and took a shower before Kakashi-sensei did, or he would have to make his sensei hurry up with his bathroom business so neither of them would have to stand under the cold water. Huh, he was being so nice and considerate while his sensei was constantly having fun bugging others. Silly man! Always pretending to be so nice when actually he could be a real idiot sometimes! And again he let him get away with it! He mentally cursed himself for that. He would have to watch out carefully from now on if he was to spend the week with his sensei's company.

When he got back to the main room, he rolled his eyes when he saw Kakashi still with his nose in that stupid book. Naruto regretted ever giving it to him in the first place. Then again, when he was training with the Pervy Sage, he couldn't think of another souvenir that could make Kakashi any happier than his stupid porn. It was then when he realized that he really barely even knew the man, even though he was one of his 'important people'. He definitely wanted to learn more about his sensei this week. And he would. Yeah!

His stomach suddenly made a loud angry sound. He then remembered that he hadn't eaten anything since the morning of the previous day.

"I see you're hungry. Good, because the kitchen is rather empty and we really have to buy some groceries if we want to stay up here without starving. So why don't you just walk down to the village and buy us some things to eat. I checked the stove in the kitchen and it works, so you could by some rice, eggs and vegetables and whatever you want. Don't go overboard though, I haven't got that much money with me and we won't be staying here more than a week," said the silver-haired man in a bored voice as he got out of the bed and handed Naruto the little shopping list and some money. The genin let out a grumble.

"I'll be staying here keeping watch. Don't be gone too long since we both are hungry and I still want to show you a few things today."

Naruto's facial expression immediately changed to a more excited one when he heard the last part of his sensei's sentence.

"Yeah, okay!"

He put on his boots and coat and opened the door.

"I'll be back in a while. Bye, sensei!" he said as he dashed out of the cottage.

Kakashi smiled. It was easy to convince Naruto to do something; one just needed the right method. He was glad that Naruto had gone out, it really was terribly cold outside and he just wanted to continue reading and relaxing on the bed until Naruto returned, because after they have eaten, there would be work to do. So he went back to the bed, settling himself in a comfortable position with his right leg stretched out and his left one bent at the knee. Sighing in content, he continued to read. It was one of the more juicy passages of the story and he really was simply enjoying himself, relaxing like this with an excellent piece of literature. Life was really good sometimes.

* * *

On his way to the little town Naruto thought about what Kakashi would tell him. He was always eager to learn things and since he hardly ever had the chance to get some one-on-one training from his teacher, now was his chance to catch up. Would Kakashi-sensei really tell him what it was like to be an ANBU, about what he had done and experienced as an ANBU? He sure hoped the man would but he also knew that it was hard to get Kakashi tell him anything he wanted to know, since the man was so reserved and would probably always keep certain things secret.

He reached the village in about thirty minutes and soon found a grocery shop. The Land of Snow had to import most food items from other nations because of their cold weather so the groceries were more expensive than in Konoha, but Kakashi had only written a few things on the shopping list for him to buy and the money he had given him would definitely be enough.

* * *

"Hey, Kakashi-sensei, I'm back," Naruto called, pushing the door open and patting away the snow from his clothes. He was frozen to the bones and even Kyuubi's chakra couldn't keep him any warmer. He discarded his boots and coat and saw his sensei on the bed with his little green book resting on his stomach.

"Oh, thanks, Naruto, just put the stuff in the kitchen and make whatever you want for our early lunch," the lazy man said without taking his eyes off his book to look at his student.

"Hey, that's not fair! I went all out in the cold to buy these groceries, can't you cook?"

"I can."

"Well then do it!"

Kakashi chuckled and sat up.

"You asked me if I could cook and I said yes. I didn't say that I _would_ cook."

Naruto angrily clenched his fists.

"Come on sensei, all I can do is boil water and pour it into a bowl or cup of ramen!" he snapped.

Kakashi held up his hand and wagged his index finger sideways.

"Na-uh-ah, no need to get so angry. Besides, I know you can cook; Master Jirayia told me so and he even said that you were really good at it. So why don't you show me if he was telling the truth, ne?"

Damnit! Naruto had thought he could get away with a little lie like that. Sure, the Pervy Sage had made him cook on missions when they weren't staying at a hotel and was always pleased with the meals he had prepared. But Kakashi didn't have to know that, and yet he DID! Why did Kakashi always know everything that could come in handy for him?

"Yeah okay, okay, I can cook, but so can you, so since I've already been out while you were sitting on your lazy ass reading that pervy trash you call a novel, it's your time to do something you would rather not do!"

Kakashi stood up and slowly paced towards Naruto, making the boy walk backwards until his back rested against the wall.

"Naruto, you wanted to know what it's like to be in the ANBU, and this is yet another way of showing you how things are done there. As an ANBU subordinate you are not only under the direct command of the Hokage, but also under the command of your team leader. Things are much stricter among the ANBU than in regular shinobi squads. So if you would like me to take you to the ANBU headquarters when this mission is over, that is, if Lady Tsunade gives her consent, you will have to know how to behave there. If somebody who has not been trained by the ANBU enters the ANBU Headquarters, they will immediately rouse suspicion and will either be thoroughly interrogated or captured and locked in a dark cell until the Hokage gives her permission to let the captive out. So if you want to let things go smoothly, I would advise you to from now on do _exactly_ as I say without any further discussion. You can discuss anything you want with other people, but not with me, not as long as I am in charge of you here. Got that?"

Naruto gulped down whatever he had intended to say and nodded, making two steps forward.

"Good. You will put those groceries in the kitchen and start preparing lunch. Now get going."

He smacked Naruto's butt in a quick motion and watched the blond yelp in surprise and scamper out of the room and into the kitchen like a scared puppy.

Yes, he mused, Naruto had learned his lesson. But had he gone too far? Perhaps, but Naruto wanted to know what the ANBU were like, and he had promised Tsunade to show Naruto what the ANBU were like. He hoped Naruto would soon be so fed up with those ANBU training methods that he would forget he had ever been interested in becoming an ANBU himself. Smiling, he sat back down on the bed and continued to read, not thinking about Naruto until lunch.

* * *

Meanwhile, Naruto was hastily putting the groceries into the refrigerator and cabinets, all the while trying to digest what Kakashi had told him. He almost couldn't believe it; Kakashi-sensei had _never_ treated him like that before! The way he walked towards him and talked to him was so . . . intimidating, and he hadn't felt intimidated by Kakashi since his first bell-test with Team 7! It seemed a bit out of character for his sensei to act like that. He knew Kakashi-sensei was a laid-back, calm man; it was practically the only side of his personality he had ever witnessed until now . . . But he seemed so much stricter now, even though he didn't even raise his voice. No, Kakashi just spoke slowly and articulated every word perfectly, so as to make sure that he would hear and understand everything he said.

Normally, Kakashi-sensei would just sit back in the background and try to not get involved in anything that could be a drag, but he never attempted to threaten him. Was Kakashi-sensei just putting on an act? Or was he just demonstrating another facet of his personality?

* * *

"Uh, sensei? Lunch is ready. I made a bigger portion so we can still have the rest for dinner."

Kakashi blinked and nodded, inhaling the air that smelled so good of whatever Naruto had cooked. He smiled with his eye.

"Thanks, Naruto. Will you have your lunch in the kitchen while I eat here?"

Letting out an annoyed growl, Naruto said, "Come on, sensei, don't you even trust me enough to let me eat in the same room with you? I promise I won't look if you really don't want me to."

"I can assure you I'm not very good company when I eat. You won't be missing out on anything."

"But I thought now that the two of us are alone on a mission, we might get to know each other a bit better! You know, you've been my sensei for five years now, well, two-and-a-half if you don't count the time I was away with the Pervy Sage, and I still don't really know you very well. All I know about you is that you're a high-ranked ninja, former ANBU member and a lazy and perverted guy who is constantly late and makes lame excuses when that's the case. That's it!"

"Well Naruto, being a ninja is all about being secretive," Kakashi said, smiling with his eye.

Naruto was angry, hell he was, but he decided to just shrug it off, seeing no sense in arguing with his sensei now. He headed to the kitchen with Kakashi following him without saying another word. They helped themselves with the food he had cooked and when they had wished each other to enjoy the meal, Kakashi walked with his bowl to the main room, shutting the door.

He assumed Naruto was a bit angry with him for not wanting to have lunch with him in the same room, but the kid just had to learn to be more patient and deal with situations he wasn't too satisfied with. He would let Naruto dine with him eventually. All in good time.

He glanced once more at the kitchen door, just to make sure it really was closed, but still the wary ninja turned around and sat on the chair with his back towards the door, so if Naruto tried to peak through the keyhole he still wouldn't be able to see his face while he ate. He pulled down his mask, dug his chopsticks into his bowl of rice with teriyaki chicken and hummed with satisfaction at the taste. Jirayia was right, the kid did cook well!

In the kitchen, Naruto was trying to enjoy his own lunch, but he was bored and still angry with Kakashi for being so antisocial. Really, he had eaten with Kakashi on previous missions and even at Ichiraku's, but then he remembered that he had never eaten alone with his sensei. There had always been someone else with them. Did Kakashi perhaps not like his company? What was up with that guy?! One minute he was being nice, and the next one he'd act like a total jerk! But was he nice, or was he a jerk, or perhaps a nice jerk, or rather a jerk who could pretend to be nice? Or a nice guy who would act like a jerk just to make people get their goat?

He simply couldn't read him. So this is what it must feel like for Sai, who couldn't read _anyone's_ character. Sighing, Naruto continued to eat and think about what Kakashi would to next.

* * *

Nothing of any importance happened after lunch, much to Naruto's disappointment. Kakashi was still more interested in reading his Icha Icha book than holding a conversation with him and in the afternoon, when he asked him whether he would be teaching him anything that day, the jounin just told him that he would first like to take a stroll through the village and be back in a couple of hours.

He ordered Naruto to keep watch and not leave the cottage until he returned. Knowing that Naruto would be bored all on his own, he gave him a little book with crossword puzzles so Naruto could "keep his mind occupied". Then he left.

Why that guy really knew how to ruffle his feathers! He couldn't help but be mad at his sensei for clearly not showing any interest in being on a two-man-mission with him for the first time. He wondered if Kakashi just tolerated his presence or if he actually gave more than a damn about him.

Kakashi-sensei was strange. Sometimes he would show Naruto that he liked or even admired him, and on other times, he would just look at him as though he were the most uninteresting person in the world. He seemed kind of . . . twisted. Yeah, that was a word with which he could describe Kakashi. Twisted.

Shaking his head, Naruto took a pencil and tried to solve the first crossword, waiting for Kakashi to return.

* * *

"Another word for ‚destruction' . . . ten letters," Naruto thought aloud as he lay on his stomach on the futon, sifting the synonyms he knew which could fit into the crossword puzzle. Annihilation perhaps?

He counted the letters. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, elev - no, that couldn't be it. Devastation? No, not that either. Demolition? One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, TEN, yeah! That could be it! Excitedly he scribbled down his assumption, hoping it would be the correct one. All right, on to number seven, vertical line. The abbreviation of –

He was torn out of his thoughts when he heard someone knock on the door. Could that be Kakashi-sensei? He got up, grabbed his kunai, just in case it wasn't his teacher standing behind the door, and walked forward to open the entrance.

"Wow, I'm surprised you actually knocked to get in, sensei," Naruto said, closing the door as his teacher stepped in. Kakashi discarded his very wet jacket and smiled with his eye.

"I'm glad I can still surprise you," was all he responded before heading to the bathroom.

Naruto stared at the bathroom door for a while, shaking his head. Funny man! Always sneaking off like that – well, that would be his last time to do that! Clenching his fists, he decided to get Kakashi to talk to him more, whether he liked it or not. If the man did not initiate any proper conversation, then it would be up to him to do so. He smirked and walked to the bed and picked up one of Kakashi-sensei's notorious and most prized possessions: Icha Icha Tactics. He opened the page his sensei had bookmarked and scanned it with his eyes.

When he had been gone training with Jirayia, he had only read the manuscript until page 10, but it had been so boring that he had never continued reading it, so he didn't really know what exactly would be happening in the story later on. A part of him told him to just put the book back, but another part of him was curious and wanted to find out what could possibly be so interesting about a bunch of fictional characters making out and why his sensei would spend nearly all his free-time reading this silly book.

Now that Naruto was more mature, he had a greater interest in trying to understand people, and his mysterious sensei's personality was yet to be unveiled. Naruto's thoughts jumped back to the page he had opened.

_Kiyomi took a deep breath and shook her head in defeat. "All right, Harumi, I'll do this for you. But only if I get a favor in return."_

_The brunette girl eyed her best friend. "What do you want?"_

_Kiyomi moved closer to her and grabbed her hand. "You."_

"_Me? You . . . like me?" Harumi asked in a faint voice, not quite sure if she had heard exactly what her friend had just said._

"_I like you more than I could ever like another, I cherish your presence like the spring petals of the Sakura trees, you are the most important source of happiness in my life!" _

"_But Kiyomi…what will Akihiko say if he finds out?"_

"_I don't care, he hurt you and he doesn't deserve you. Look at me, I love you! Please, let me show you how much you mean to me!"_

_Harumi felt the tears run down her cheeks, but Kiyomi instantly moved closer and kissed the glassy droplets away._

"_Please, Harumi. I love you."_

Naruto snorted and rolled his eyes. What a cheesefest! _That_ was what his sensei was spending, no, wasting all his freetime with? Unbelievable!

"Enjoying yourself, Naruto?" he suddenly heard Kakashi's voice dangerously close to his ear.

"Gah! You!" Naruto shrieked and instinctively dropped the book out of his hands, letting it fall unceremoniously to the bed.

Shit! Again his sensei had snuck into the room without Naruto even noticing he had opened the bathroom door!

"I didn't know you liked to read."

"I-uh…_I'm glad I can still surprise you_," he said in a mocking tone. His sensei had said the same thing just a while ago, and he remembered it was payback time.

"That's good to hear."

Naruto eyed Kakashi for a moment and noted that the man's gaze wasn't directed to him but to the stupid little book on the bed. He had his hands in the pockets of his pants and looked like his mind would just drift off to Icha Icha land any moment now, as if standing with him in a little room was the most unentertaining thing ever.

Naruto let out an annoyed growl and continued to speak, since Kakashi didn't bother to say anything.

"Anyway, sensei, when you woke me up, you told me we had stuff to do, and I doubt that buying groceries was the only thing you had in mind for today. So now that you're back, why don't we get started?" he asked, folding his arms together and giving his sensei a determined look.

Kakashi sighed and walked to the little table. He sat down on one of the two chairs and waved his hand towards himself to indicate that Naruto should do the same.

Naruto followed him and sat down on the chair opposite his sensei. Finally they would have a real face-to-face conversation! He wondered what it would be all about. He sure hoped he would learn some things about his sensei!

When both of them were seated, Kakashi started to speak.

"Alrighty then. So, Lady Tsunade sent me here to enlighten you on how the ANBU black ops work. You see, being an ANBU isn't only about being stealthy and alert – that is only part of the job. Absolute trust and secrecy are also extremely important, for obvious reasons. You and I are going to be working together. I will be your supervisor, so you will have to trust me entirely, and we will start with getting to know one another better. So, it's Q & A time now. I'll be needing this, though."

Kakashi pointed his left index finger at his headband and then he took it off in a swift motion. He placed it on the table and swept his silver bangs to the side and smiled now with both eyes before opening them, revealing his left Sharingan.

"What do you need your Sharingan for?" Naruto asked as he curiously stared at his sensei.

"To make sure you are telling the truth when you answer my questions. Remember, this is supposed to be ANBU-like training. In the ANBU, interrogations are daily fare, so let's find out how you deal with this."

Why was his heart starting to beat faster? He could feel he was getting nervous, but why?

"When I ask you a question, you will answer truthfully and not break the eye contact. That's the only condition to this game. Understood?"

So that's what it was to Kakashi-sensei – a game? Nothing to worry about then, right?

"Uh-huh," Naruto said, nodding.

"Good. Let's get started. What's your favorite color?"

"Orange," Naruto shot out without thinking first. Really, everyone knew that orange was his favorite color!

"Your favorite type of ramen?

„Tonkotsu with extra pork and two eggs."

"Your least favorite jutsu?"

"Uhm…any kind of genjutsu. Not really my cup of tea, you know," he answered sheepishly, scratching the back of his head. What was up with these lame questions?!

"But come on sensei, I thought this was about getting to know one another better, so what's the point in asking me stuff to which you anyway know the answers?"

Naruto glared angrily at Kakashi who remained perfectly calm and merely sighed at the fact that Naruto was so impatient.

"That was just the warm-up round. Now to the more interesting part. Again, the same rules apply. Answer truthfully, if you don't, I'll know. So tell me, Naruto. Why are you so interested in the ANBU?"

Naruto pushed his chair further towards the table, put his right elbow on the wooden surface and rested his chin on his right hand, slightly drumming the fingers of his left hand on the table to entertain himself while thinking about the answer for a moment.

"Well, I…I never really thought about them until a while ago when I kept running into so many of them. I kept seeing more ANBU members than ever walking around Konoha, so I kinda got interested. Happy?"

Kakashi just smiled with his eye and decided push this a little further.

"Is it about the masks? Do they arouse your interest?"

"Uh…yeah! They do"

"And why is that?"

Naruto shrugged.

"I guess it's because of the mysterious aura those masks give the person wearing them. I mean, it's the same with you, sensei. What's underneath that mask of yours? I've asked myself that question ever since I first saw you. Everybody wants to know what you're hiding underneath that stupid mask."

Kakashi had to smile at that. He could imagine how annoying it must be for his little charge to deal with the fact that he simply would not let anyone see his face.

"All right, next question. Did you enjoy that scene of Icha Icha Tactics you read today?"

"Hell NO! And I can't believe you enjoy corny stuff like that!"

"So…you wouldn't want to read it again?"

Naruto snorted.

"I wouldn't piss on that book to put out a fire!"

The silver-haired Icha-Icha-addict cringed at the thought of his precious books catching fire and Naruto not being willing to put it out. He hoped it would never even come to an incident like that which could endanger his favorite novels.

"Mh. Let's move on to more…personal questions."

Naruto didn't like the way his sensei said that, he didn't like it at all. There was something about that look in Kakashi's eyes which made him feel a bit uneasy.

Kakashi knew that the questions he would be asking now would not be very easy for Naruto to talk about, but he had to.

"If you were assigned to kill or torture someone who is important to you…would you do it?"

Naruto bit his lip and clenched his teeth together. When the blond didn't answer, Kakashi decided to ask him something that would hopefully lead to the same answer.

"What are your feelings towards Sasuke?"

The blonde shrugged, but his voice tightened.

"He was a stupid asshole who was too full of himself, and a traitor who never tried to understand me."

"Did you want to bring him back because you promised Sakura you would?"

Naruto inhaled sharply and carved his left thumbnail deeper into the surface of the table.

"Well, of course I tried to keep my promise to her; it was a promise of a lifetime! But when she said she didn't care about him anymore and liked me instead, I didn't believe her. I told her that it wasn't only about the promise I made that I was so desperate to try to bring him back."

"You wanted to bring him back because he was your closest thing to a brother."

It was more a statement or a conclusion than a question. Naruto nervously tore his gaze away from Kakashi and continued to watch his fingers draw invisible lines on the table. He didn't say anything, he just nodded.

"Naruto, look at me."

The boy slowly lifted his head to meet his teacher's eyes. Kakashi could feel his student tense up, his chakra indicating that he was trying to keep his emotions tightly under control.

"You really miss him, don't you?"

Naruto swallowed. Hard. He tightly clenched his fists until they hurt and pressed his teeth together as hard as he could.

"Y-Yeah," was the only thing he managed to say and a strong tremor started shooting through his body as the memories flashed black in his mind. He could even feel tears rolling down his cheeks.

Kakashi immediately stood up and walked towards Naruto. He put an arm around the shaking teen's shoulders, trying to offer some kind of comfort. He knew Naruto would react this way, it had been five months since Naruto had killed Sasuke during the Fourth War, and he knew the boy still hadn't gotten over the fact that he had killed his best friend.

At first, Naruto had been in a state of shock and refused to talk about it to anyone, including Kakashi. He seemed fine, happy even, but the jounin knew Naruto was trying not to think about Sasuke, trying to ignore it. Kakashi had already experienced how bad it was to keep grief bottled up inside. He had to make Naruto let go of his sorrow.

Naruto tried to stop crying, he cursed himself for letting his emotions show, especially in front of Kakashi who was the master of concealing his emotions.

Kakashi could almost hear the boy's heart crumble with every cry. He grabbed his chair and placed it right next to Naruto's and sat down. Without hesitating, he pulled Naruto close to him. The boy welcomed the embrace and buried his head in the crook of the jounin's neck.

"Why did I kill him?" Naruto choked out and started to cough strongly.

Kakashi knew how Naruto felt but if he told him that now, his student wouldn't believe him, or he wouldn't listen. So he just let him rest against his chest until he calmed down and could breathe normally again.

"I'm sorry, sensei. A ninja should never reveal his emotions, I know . . . "

"Not showing emotion is not the same as not having emotion. You still have to get over the death of your closest friend. You're ninja, yes, but you're also a human being. With feelings. It's all right to cry."

He started rubbing soothing circles on Naruto's back, trying to get his student to calm down a bit.

Emotions. Happiness, grief, sorrow, hate…those were very unwelcome feelings for the ANBU black ops. Naruto simply couldn't be the person he was if he were an ANBU member. Sighing, Kakashi. They would sort everything out later. Hopefully.

* * *

There were five times where Naruto had cried and would forever remember why. He had cried when Haku died and Zabuza pretended not to care. He had cried in front of Sakura when he told her that he had failed to bring Sasuke back after their fight at the Valley of the End. He had cried when he heard of Jirayia's death. He had cried when he met his parents after sixteen years. And he had cried when he killed Sasuke.

He had faced a lot of misery throughout his life and he used to cry often when he was younger. But he soon decided to cut down that habit. He didn't want to pity himself or show people his weak spots anymore. They were nobody's concern.

He had learned that it was easier to look happy. Nobody questions people who seem fine and most people aren't interested in other people's problems anyway. So it was better to just keep smiling.

When Naruto's tremor stopped and he was breathing more easily, Kakashi stood up and walked to the kitchen. He soon returned with some tissues which he wordlessly handed Naruto, who had lowered his head to avoid his sensei's gaze. Kakashi sat down again on the chair next to Naruto, who gave him a brief nod of gratitude and took a tissue to wipe away the tears which were blurring his vision. His eyes then focused on his hands with which he was now nervously scrunching up the used tissue on his lap.

He felt ashamed. He had blown his cover in front of Kakashi-sensei and damn it, he had cried. He broke one of the most important ninja rules: shinobi were to hide their emotions. Like Kakashi, who hid everything from others. Even if his sensei told him it was okay to cry, he still was far from feeling comfortable about having an emotional outburst.

Kakashi put a hand on the boy's arm.

"You know, you'll feel better when you've talked about it," Kakashi suddenly broke the long, uncomfortable silence.

Naruto let out a tired sigh. His head and eyes hurt from crying so much and he really just wanted to forget the whole thing. He knew his sensei was still watching him closely but he still didn't have the valor to face him. Huh, some ninja he was. He cursed himself. He was already impulsive and stupid; and now he could add weak and cowardly to the list as well.

"I really hate myself," he said quietly.

Kakashi looked at him, startled.

"Why?"

Naruto fisted the tissue harder, tearing it.

"I…" he hesitated before taking a deep breath to continue.

"I feel like I have betrayed my ninja path. I always swore that I would never go back on my word, but I did. I had promised Sakura and also myself to bring Sasuke back, but I couldn't keep my promise. I tried to talk to Sasuke, even during our final battle, but now I will never find out whether Sasuke truly _couldn't_ understand me or whether he just didn't _want_ to understand me. When we fought, Sasuke was throwing all his hatred at me, and sure, as a jinchuriki I was used to being hated, so I thought I could handle it. After all, that was what I had told him when Team 7 was reunited for the last time. But my prediction that if the both of us fought, the both of us would die had been proven wrong. When Sasuke used a gen-jutsu on me, showing me images of all people who are important to me being tortured and killed, I just lost it."

He stared at the pieces he had torn off the tissue.

"What exactly happened?" Kakashi asked carefully. He knew what had happened, having read the report Naruto had to give Lady Tsunade, but he wanted his student to let it out.

Not taking his eyes off the little pieces of the tissue, Naruto just shook his head and continued to speak.

"My own anger overtook me and our fight had been really long and intense, but in the end, I had the high ground and I managed to slam Sasuke against a huge boulder. He was already weakened from the fight, so he lost balance and fell off the cliff. I jumped down to where he was lying and I checked his pulse, but I felt none."

His voice grew even tighter.

"I killed Sasuke, and there is no turning back."

He let out another choked sob as he recalled the incident. Thinking about Sasuke hurt _so much_. His ex-teammate had died a painful and horrible death at his very own hands and he had tried to ignore the memories; he managed to cast them away from his mind for months. He had cried when he held Sasuke's body close to him but there was nobody to witness it, and for that he was glad. He knew it didn't seem like he was so upset about Sasuke's death at all. Nobody had said anything to bring up the topic since he had never shed a single tear in front of them. Up to now.

Pouring his soul out felt . . . weird. He didn't want people to see how brokenhearted he actually was. In times of great turmoil, especially after a war, it was important that at least somebody was still smiling, to show people that there was hope for a brighter future. He knew most people liked him because of his sunny personality and optimistic way of seeing things, and many saw him as a hero for killing the Uchiha, the traitor who had turned against the leaf village. Only he knew that his heroism was nothing but a farce.

"I've been wondering how long it would take for you to open up to us and show us how you really feel about Sasuke's death. I know it was very hard for you and believe me; I also know what it's like to grieve over someone and to not let it out for a very long time. I can imagine how you felt there and that you just want to forget it all. But you will never get over it if you don't accept that it has happened."

When his student didn't respond, Kakashi continued to speak.

"Don't blame yourself, Naruto. You did the right thing. Sasuke was too far gone to be saved. If you had let him go, he could have endangered the leaf village even more. Life teaches us hard lessons, and it is our job to profit from them. It's something you will find it easier to understand as you grow up."

Of course Kakashi was right. He knew he should miss Sasuke for who he used to be, but not for who and what he had become. But that didn't make him feel any better.

"I know what I did was the reasonable thing, but this," he pointed his left index finger at his heart, "is telling me that I haven't done the right thing. And I will forever be stuck with this black hole in my conscience which I can try to ignore, but still it will always be there. I don't think I can ever forgive myself for killing Sasuke. I can't forgive myself for not being able to save my best friend."

He lifted his head slowly and let his eyes meet Kakashi's. Then he smiled. He smiled the way he always did when he wanted to back out of an uncomfortable situation.

"But you're right, sensei. Sasuke's gone and I can't change the past, so I guess I'll have to, well, get used to it."

The silver-haired jounin noticed his student's sudden mood swing, but he knew at once it was fake. Learning to accept the death of a friend was a long and hard process and not something that could happen within one evening. He knew exactly how Naruto felt, having experienced that feeling already four times – after the death of his father, Obito, Rin and Minato. Sasuke's departure and his choice to walk the path of revenge also triggered that feeling of loss. Of course, it wasn't exactly his fault, he had warned Sasuke not to become so vengeful, but as the battle between Sasuke and Naruto at the Valley of the End took place he had been too late to stop them. Sasuke had left Konoha and Naruto was left with a broken heart that could probably only be mended with his Sasuke coming back. Having him die at his own hands must have been traumatizing for Naruto.

"I don't think I've ever told you about the time when I was still in a squad with my teacher, am I right?"

Kakashi-sensei was referring to his genin days? Come to think of it, Naruto indeed couldn't recall his sensei ever talking about that.

"No sensei, I don't think so. All I know is that my dad was your sensei," he said with a small, sad smile.

Kakashi nodded.

"Yeah, that's right. Your father was my sensei. In my squad there was a girl called Rin, and a member of the Uchiha clan, his name was Obito. He and I didn't get along well at all; our relationship was similar to yours and Sasuke's. Just that, believe it or not, I was so much like Sasuke and Obito…he was so much like you. He was caring, optimistic; loyal to the people he cared about . . . just like you."

His eye creased slightly into a smile, but his expression turned into a more serious one within a second.

"When I say I was like Sasuke, I mean that I was just as stoic and emotionally cold as him. That had a lot to do with my father – I've mentioned him once when we were waiting for Chiyo of the Sand, remember?"

Naruto nodded slightly.

"My father was a very well-respected shinobi of the Leaf village. But one day, he was on a mission with several comrades and things became very complicated, and he had to make a decision – either he would sacrifice his comrades to carry out the mission, or he would save his comrades and not complete the . . . well, he chose the latter. Unfortunately though, his decision to abandon the mission caused him to be vilified by the Land of Fire. Everybody blamed him for failing the mission, even his comrades who he had saved. He couldn't go anywhere anymore without being blamed by others and one day, he couldn't take it anymore and he…committed suicide. I was very young at that time, but I'm sure you can imagine how bitter I felt when I found out that he had taken his own life. I was ashamed of my own father, and this shame led me to do exactly what the Shinobi Code directed. From then onward, the accomplishment of the mission had become my first priority and not the life of my comrades."

He stopped for a while, taking a deep breath before he continued to speak.

"One day, my squad had a mission and our teammate Rin was in danger, but I didn't want to waste any time to save her, because I thought I had to carry out the mission first. Of course Obito, who didn't think like me at all, was outraged and told me what I have told you on the day of your first bell-test:

_In the ninja world, those who break the rules are scum. But those who abandon their comrades are worse than scum._

But I refused to listen to him. The fighting went on and my left eye got badly injured, I couldn't see anything with that eye anymore . . . and then he . . . then Obito got crushed by a boulder and I saw him dying. I then realized how much he really meant to me, how right he had been all the time. It had been my fault; I should have listened to him from the start, then none of that would have happened. I had been promoted to jounin before the mission had started, and Obito had been the only one who hadn't given me a gift. Understandable, of course, since I had been such a terrible idiot to him. But as he lay underneath that bolder, the right side of his body crushed, he told me he would give me – " Kakashi pulled his hand slowly towards his left closed eye – "his left Sharingan eye. He said he wanted me to have it. Rin, who was trained in medical ninjutsu, implanted it. That is how I got this Sharingan, as a non-Uchiha."

He didn't look at Naruto as he spoke, but he could hear him gasp lightly.

"I'm sure you can imagine my shock when I learned that Obito was Tobi and what he had done," Kakashi added with an eye-smile which was just as fake as the grin Naruto had worn moments ago when he had tried to escape from the topic.

Naruto swallowed the lump in his throat. He never knew Obito was Tobi, he had never even heard anyone mention Obito's name . . .

"I . . . I had no idea . . . I'm so sorry," he stammered. He didn't know what else he could say. Just what did one say when one was told a tragic story as Kakashi's?

"It's alright," Kakashi answered anyway, staring at the table.

He stood up and compassionately patted Naruto's left shoulder. Somehow, it felt right to share some of his own pain he always kept to himself with Naruto so that the boy would learn to open up to him. If Naruto was playing with the idea of joining the ANBU black ops, it was imperative that he open up and trust his teammates without fooling them. Hn, he was one to talk.

He eyed Naruto who was now staring into space. His eyes were still red from crying and he really looked exhausted.

"I think I'll have some of the leftovers from lunch. Are you hungry too?"

Naruto's empty stomach hurt, but this entire conversation had eliminated his appetite and he felt sick. Just the thought of food made his stomach twist and turn. So he shook his head and watched Kakashi heading to the kitchen.

He felt like he was enveloped in an awkward aura. His sensei had just told him things about his life he was sure not many people knew. Was his story something he told any of his other comrades at some point? Or did Kakashi-sensei maybe trust him even more than his other comrades? Hearing Kakashi speak so openly about his past certainly was reassuring. Somehow it made him seem more . . . human.

Naruto let out a small, private smile. He liked the thought of that.


	4. Masks

It was probably best to give the boy his space now, Kakashi thought as he filled his bowl with the leftovers from their lunch.

As much as he inwardly cared for the blonde, he was not so comfortable with sharing his personal space with another person and was rather glad to be alone again, even if it was just for a short while.

He wasn't used to having another person's presence so close since he usually tried to prevent situations which required any form of close interaction, aside from training and fighting. Not that he utterly disliked being around people, but it did make him a bit nervous if they were intruding his little bubble of safety, where he could seclude himself and seek his solitude.

He had a hard time allowing people to like him and they usually avoided him anyway when they realized what a strange asshole he could be. He had people who he could trust on the battlefield – Gai, Tenzo, Asuma when he was alive…Naruto... But he wouldn't really call them his _friends_, and it wasn't because he was naturally socially inept. It was because he didn't want such strong connections to be forged in the first place. Even if he often didn't show it, he used to have people he cared about. His father. Obito. Rin. Minato-sensei. But when he finally let them know how important they were for him, they were gone.

He dug his chopsticks into the food and warily eyed the closed kitchen door before he pulled down his mask so he could eat. He would never admit this in public, but he felt far more at ease when he discarded the cloth that covered two thirds of his face. Why did he wear it around people? Everyone who knew him for a while wanted to get a look at what was under his mask; almost as if to convince themselves that he even had a face.

Of course he had a face. He just would never show it to anyone who didn't have to see it. It wasn't like he was hiding anything particularly interesting or out of the ordinary beneath the mask. He also wasn't really hiding his identity, even though he used to think he was, especially around the time when his father had committed suicide and he didn't want to remind people of the person they shunned as a dishonorable coward.

The mask was his trademark. The Inuzukas had fang-like tattoos on their cheeks, the Akimichis were fat and Gai wore a tight green spandex jumpsuit. He wore a mask. It was just part of him since he was five years old, and old habits die hard, not to say he had ever attempted to stop wearing it.

He could always say that he followed the Ninja Code - ninja are not to show emotion to ensure no one could read them. His eye was the only and most expressive thing about him, and that really wasn't saying much when he usually looked at people like they were a bag of potatoes. He just wanted to appear as unapproachable as possible so people would leave him alone.

Everyone wore some kind of mask to some extent. Just look at Naruto, the seemingly happy-go-lucky kid who had just cried his heart out in front of him about something he had kept strictly to himself for half a year. And he doubted Naruto was comfortable about it. There probably wasn't anything he could do to change that. All he could do was show him that he wasn't alone. He wished he could have reassured Naruto more. But would that really help him?

When his father, Obito and Rin had died, Minato-sensei had been the one who tried to lift up his spirit and help him move on. If he hadn't been there for him, the guilt, anger and grief would have probably driven him into madness. It had been a long and difficult process for him to let go and even with his sensei's support he found it hard to accept his emotions after what had happened. They were his reminder that he wasn't solely a killing machine but also human; a human with limits; a human who had failed to protect his comrades.

Joining the ANBU had been easy for him. The life of an active ANBU member was tough; it required keeping all emotions tightly under control, even more so than regular shinobi. But he excelled at that. He pushed himself harder, focusing solely on his missions instead of his emotions to extinguish some of the pain that was buried inside his heart, pain that was desperate to break out and ready to tear his soul apart. Pain that he needed to control and keep concealed within him. Pain he would only let out in front of Minato. His sensei had taught him that showing emotions sometimes was okay. It was wrong to let them control you, but you shouldn't push them entirely away either.

He had hardly ever talked to any of his ANBU colleagues about his personal issues and losses, but he did emphasize the importance of protecting his comrades, no matter what. At first, most of his ANBU teammates found this overprotective nature of his highly unusual, since they themselves had been drilled to focus on the mission and not on saving their comrades if they were in danger.

Others just did what he told them to do, either because they respected him for his skills, or because they were afraid of him. Some began to agree with him the more they thought about it. After all, it _was_ rather…depressing to think that you are merely a tool, a weapon which can be thrown away if it isn't of any use anymore, and no human being could completely deny that, even if they believed they could.

He smiled slightly.

If the third Hokage hadn't requested that he leave the ANBU, he probably would have never retreated. Not to say he really regretted stepping aside and returning to be part of the regular shinobi forces. In fact, leaving the ANBU black ops had been just as easy a task as joining them. He regarded being an active jounin again merely as a new assignment; becoming a Genin instructor had been yet another one.

When Hiruzen Sarutobi assigned him Team 7 and informed him that Sasuke and Naruto were on his squad, Kakashi made it clear that he wouldn't let any personal feelings get in the way.

Just because the two boys were related to people he loved did not mean he would treat them any differently than anyone else.

He was a teacher, and didn't really want his students to see him as anything other than that or as a comrade. Naruto and Sakura still called him Kakashi-sensei, even though technically he wasn't their sensei anymore, just as they technically weren't his students anymore, but the habit was hard to break. In a way, they, especially Naruto, still were his students. But they weren't really his friends...

_I don't have real friends._

His parents were dead. Obito was dead. Rin was dead. And Minato was dead.

Kakashi stared steadily at his food and let out a long sigh.

When Minato was killed, he suffered from a wound. An emotional one. The loss of Minato had been worse than the deaths of his father, Obito and Rin put together.

When his father died, Minato had been there for him. When Obito died, Minato had been there for him. When Rin died, Minato had been there for him. And when he died, Kakashi felt deserted and had absolutely no one who could take the pain away. Would he ever recover? Minato was his mentor. His sensei. His father. His…

He took a deep breath, and placed his left hand to his _face_ to wipe the tears away that stung his eyes.

_Yeah, Naruto. I think I really know how you feel._

He had never imagined that he would be revealing bits of information on his past to Naruto so soon. To be honest, he had never thought it would come to that, even though he liked and…trusted him, admittedly in an untypical way.

He took another bite, enjoying the delicious meal his student had prepared.

When he thought about Naruto, he felt some kind of warmth spread out within him. That kid was a magnet. For _anything_, actually. Trouble always seemed to find him, but without a lot of trouble, he made people believe in him, maybe because he made it clear that he believed in himself. If someone had let him know that his message had been heard and accepted, they had earned a friend for life.

Naruto was about as subtle as his orange jumpsuit, but that was one of his more endearing traits. Even his blunt personality was easy to get used to. The kid radiated undying motivation and care for the people who were important to him, even though he had a hard time fighting the bias many people had against him. He grew up not knowing what love was, yet he knew how to love. Something _he_ had serious issues with.

It was his own fault. He had decided to live a life in complete concealment, not revealing anything too personal to anyone. Mostly because he was afraid. Afraid of creating a bond with another person, a bond that could be torn. If he became too attached to people and they died, then he would experience the past again. To avoid feeling that pain, it was easier for him to keep relationships superficial.

Was he contradicting himself? Of course he had a bond with…well…his students. He cared for them, even if it didn't always seem that way. He never really hung out with his students and took them out the way Asuma used to, or the way Iruka, or simply other _normal_ people did.

He rather stayed in the background, merely wanting to protect them. He didn't want them to get hurt, or to hurt on the inside. And despite the fact that they were growing up, he knew that didn't mean they were always capable of being emotionally stable. Naruto was the best example for that.

After he had swallowed the last bit of his dinner, he placed the empty bowl on the kitchen table, pulled his mask up and calmly walked back to the main room where he saw Naruto still sitting on the chair, staring into space and thankfully looking a great deal calmer than he had a while ago.

"Feeling a bit better?" the silver-haired man asked.

Naruto lifted his head to meet his sensei's eyes, and nodded.

"Um…yeah. Thanks sensei. Uh…"

There was an uncomfortable silence for a few moments. He still didn't know how to talk around the peculiar man standing in front of him, especially after what had happened that evening.

"That's good to hear," Kakashi commented and slipped his hands in his pockets casually, looking as laid-back as ever. But even with the seemingly calm exterior, it was obvious to Naruto that his sensei was watching him carefully.

He noticed an odd, heavy feeling settle between them. He supposed he would simply have to get used to having his sensei around more than usual. Starting with avoiding him for now.

Naruto slid out of his chair and calmly scraped past his teacher. He could feel the man's eye studying him until he reached the kitchen door.

"I'll uhm…do the washing up now, sensei," he said, staring at an invisible spot on the floor, scratching the back of his head nervously.

"That would actually be really nice, Naruto," Kakashi answered, almost feeling sorry for him. He had never spent a lot of time alone with Naruto before and it was obvious that the boy didn't seem to be very comfortable around him.

He calmly watched him try to blend into the wall just to get past him. Was he really that uncomfortable? Oh well, he mused. He supposed he wasn't used to sharing a small place with anyone, especially with someone he hardly even _knew_.

After he had closed the door Naruto felt a sigh of relief escape him. He then started collecting the dishes and putting them in the sink to wash them.

As he went about filling the sink with water and soap he let out a long sigh as he recalled what Tsunade had said the day before he left.

"_You're still too unpredictable and for Kami-sama's sake, you are anything but subtle and sneaky! You are loud and you love the spotlight, that's great but let me tell you this: those aren't the traits an ANBU member should have_."

Naruto turned off the water tap and slumped against the sink, scowling.

She was right. He was still an unpredictable, loud-mouthed idiot, and not subtle enough. No wonder Sasuke could never stand him. _Everyone_ thought he was annoying, loud and stupid. His only real ninja traits were his ninjutsu. He sucked at genjutsu, and he even had problems releasing them. And his taijutsu…well, that could also use some improvement.

He really wanted a chance to show Tsunade that he was willing to improve his skills and become good enough to be an ANBU. He supposed he should figure out how to come up with a way to ask Kakashi to train him properly. Would he really train him in the ways of the ANBU? And teach him how to control his emotions the way he did? Kakashi… Why did he have the feeling that the guy was trying to avoid him too?

Growing up as the most hated person in the village, he had tried to get people to notice him, usually taking the wrong approach. He knew he had been and still was annoying, but at least he had become stronger over the years. However, even if more people, including Kakashi-sensei, praised and perhaps even appreciated him for his performances on the battlefield, that didn't mean they necessarily cared about him as a person. Nobody was going to look at him as being anything other than the loudmouth idiot with the goofy smile they knew, and if he continued to let people see him as that, then he would never be taken seriously, much less be Hokage. The world out there was tough and not fucking rainbows and sunshine, so his enthusiasm and sunny nature wouldn't always keep him on the bright side of life. He would have to make some compromises and small, perhaps even bigger changes.

Kakashi-sensei was a good reason to change. Naruto knew his good traits as well as his bad ones and it was about time that he started to grow up. The whole experience of the war and killing Sasuke had taught him that being so naive forever wasn't going to get him anywhere. It really was time for a change.

For starters, he should stop being so annoying - complaining, talking about whatever crossed his mind...most people would definitely appreciate that from him, especially Kakashi, who without doubt enjoyed being around calm people, if anyone.

And maybe some more training would help him mature too.

Well, that was a good start for his plan. All he had to do was find out if Kakashi would be willing to give him a little extra tutelage. If not…

Naruto couldn't think of who else could help him, and he would have to formulate a plan B. For now, as he was spending this week with his sensei, he would try to not be too loud, and only speak when he had to. And he would listen carefully to anything Kakashi told him. Maybe then his sensei would realize that he was on his way to growing up.

Kakashi was way too into his book to provide any kind of entertainment, so aside from keeping watch at the cottage, they could start the training – now that the cat was out of the bag and Naruto had let his emotions run free.

He washed up hastily, hoping he would be finished before his sensei got any ideas like reading his stupid book again. Then again, Kakashi had probably started reading it as soon as he had left the room.

Suddenly a thought dawned in his mind. Perhaps it was better for him to go to sleep now and postpone his training to tomorrow, since he really was tired and probably wouldn't be able to concentrate well enough if Kakashi taught him anything tonight.

He let out a sigh.

Being around his sensei alone had really proven to be surprisingly awkward and unpleasant because he was so weird and...unapproachable. Aside from feeling undeniably uncomfortable, he was afraid of what Kakashi might think of him, since he never really said what he really thought. If he even thought about him at all.

Kakashi-sensei simply wasn't an easy man to talk to. One could never know what he was thinking and one couldn't expect him to hold an interesting conversation, let alone initiate one just like that. If he did, he usually had a reason; like he wanted to subtly squash out some useful information he might need later.

When Kakashi had first mentioned his father, the White Fang of the Leaf, he had been more than surprised. He had never thought about Kakashi's background before that. He simply couldn't imagine his sensei as part of a family. Just like he couldn't imagine himself being part of a family before he had known who his parents were.

So now he knew a bit more about his sensei. He knew that his father had committed suicide, that Tobi had been Kakashi's teammate called Obito; and that Kakashi used to be like Sasuke when he had been younger until that Obito-kid managed to knock some sense into Kakashi.

Naruto shook his head.

He just couldn't picture his sensei like that; acting so stuck-up the way Sasuke had been. No, Kakashi was always laid-back or even lazy, and he could be extremely annoying when he just stood there in the background, trying not to get too involved, looking at people with that bored expression in his eye. The only similarities he shared with Sasuke where that they both knew how to use the Sharingan and didn't talk much.

He wasn't really the type of person who one could really call _nice, _but he wasn't mean either. There were some incidents where he would help him and be sympathetic, and he had sworn that he would always protect his comrades. One could always rely on him – well, at least on the battlefield.

With a deep breath, Naruto exhaled all his discomfort in one long puff of air and hoped for the strange aura between Kakashi-sensei and him to fade. It probably wouldn't anyway but...maybe he would at least get to know him better during this week. After all, he was one step closer to knowing the man he called sensei better.

Naruto took a cloth, dried the washed bowls and put them in the cupboard. When he was done, he left the kitchen and entered the main room.

That was strange. He had expected the man to lie in bed reading his Icha Icha, but Kakashi was nowhere to be seen. He couldn't be in the bathroom since the door was wide open…

Where was he?

"Kakashi-sensei?" he called.

No response.

Perhaps he went out for some…fresh air?

Naruto could hear the wind roaring through the windows. Why the hell would Kakashi choose to leave the cottage _now_? He checked the door, very surprised to find it unlocked. He pushed it open but couldn't see a thing because it was snowing so much and the wind was blowing it in his eyes. So he closed it again, more than glad not to be exposed to that horrible weather outside.

He turned around and scanned the room, alert almost to the point of paranoia as every little sound would scare the shit out him, even if the noises were made by him.

"Yo!"

Naruto's heart almost jumped out of his chest. He immediately turned around to meet the tall man's eye-smile.

"Stop scaring me like that all the time!" he snapped.

Kakashi just chuckled and raised his hand in a defensive way.

"Mah, I'm sorry, Naruto."

The blond rolled his eyes and let out an angry growl. Kakashi-sensei didn't look apologetic at all. If anything, he seemed more...amused?

"Just how do you do that?" Naruto asked.

He seriously needed to learn those sneaky skills!

"Perfect timing is the key. You need to focus entirely on the moment. You'll get the hang of it eventually."

"Huh, you bet I will! Then I'll be able to scare the shit out of you, without expecting it!" Naruto said, tightening his hands into fists.

"I usually expect the unexpected," Kakashi just chuckled and patted Naruto's shoulder.

"Mphf, whatever," Naruto huffed, but neither of them argued any further.

Kakashi knew there was no sense in arguing with Naruto once he'd decided to do something. And teaching him something tomorrow wouldn't be so bad anyway.

"You look tired. Let's call it a day, shall we?" he asked.

Naruto rubbed his eyes wearily.

"Yeah, okay. But tomorrow we're gonna train, right?" he yawned.

Kakashi smiled with his eye and nodded.

"Yes, Naruto, we'll train tomorrow."

The seventeen year-old walked to the bathroom, took a shower and brushed his teeth. When he was dressed in his nightclothes, he returned to the main room, settled down on his futon and adjusted the blanket so his body was tucked in as comfortably as the light fabric would allow.

"Night, sensei," he said before Kakashi left to the bathroom. He then closed his eyes and drifted off into sleep.

* * *

Naruto glanced around after several minutes of tossing and turning on his futon. It was still night, as expected. He stretched his arms high above his head and tiredly rubbed his eyes, waiting for them to focus.

He had been so tired earlier that he thought he could sleep the night away. But he hadn't been sleeping properly as he was too busy thinking about the way his life was turning out; about his teammates. An immense pressure had built up in his head and he doubted he could fall back to sleep now anyway, so he stepped out of his futon as quietly as possible and tiptoed to the kitchen to sit on the chair beside the table.

He had dreamt about Sakura and the look she had given him when he had come out of the hospital after his last battle with Sasuke. She looked something between sad and pitying, but she didn't mention anything about their comrade's death. Would she have reacted the same way if he had died and Sasuke had brought his dead body back? Did she actually still love the old Sasuke? Did she wish him back every night? Or had she gotten over her childish crush on Sasuke like he had gotten over his childish crush on her?

He didn't love Sakura. He liked her as a teammate, or perhaps even as an intimidating older sister, but the feelings he thought he had for her were replaced with something other than mere infatuation or admiration. It had started when she had told him that apparently she liked him and not Sasuke anymore.

He almost snorted at the thought.

He could tolerate a lot of things. But being lied to by someone who was so important to him was _not_ one of them.

"Wonderful night, huh?"

Naruto's heart missed a beat at that and he felt a shudder of fear lace up his bare spine.

"Don't just sneak up on people like that!"

Naruto glared accusingly at the silver-haired man standing near the kitchen door and blushed in embarrassment, damming his sensei's perceptiveness. Then again, he should be used to the exceptional skills of his sensei by now and he cursed himself silently for not being aware of his presence in the first place, even during the late hours of the night. When would he finally be able to do that?

Kakashi simply raised an eyebrow.

"You're a ninja, Naruto. Shouldn't you be more...?"

"Alert? Yeah, yeah, I know!" Naruto scowled in frustration. "It's not funny anymore! Not to say it ever was! Besides, as you may have noticed, I'm feeling a bit edgy, so I'd really appreciate it if you stopped doing that, sensei."

"I see..." Kakashi mumbled as he lit a candle so they could actually see something in the kitchen.

He walked over to Naruto and sat down at the table facing him.

Naruto stared at the door. He really wasn't allowed to let his guard down around someone like Kakashi. It seemed like whenever he let his guard down, Kakashi would notice and use that moment to scare him.

Maybe he should once try doing the same to Kakashi? No, that wouldn't work. Kakashi probably didn't even know _how _to let his guard down, especially now that there were no more Icha Icha novels that could be spoiled.

"Oh yeah, right. Wonderful night," Naruto said.

Kakashi just replied with a soft hum.

"So, having trouble sleeping?"

" …Yeah." Naruto replied, avoiding his sensei's gaze.

Trying to look less tense, Naruto laced his fingers casually behind his head.

"Did you have a bad dream?" Kakashi asked.

Naruto shook his head.

"No. I was just cold."

"You know Naruto," Kakashi started, stretching his arms behind his back, "you're very skilled at a lot of things, but lying isn't one of them."

Kakashi almost smiled under his mask at the look of Naruto's face, and he decided to lighten the mood to help him out.

"So, who were you dreaming of?"

Naruto's eye twitched. Where was his sensei trying to get at now?

"No need to be so nervous, Naruto. Tell me. Who or what were you dreaming of?"

"Of Sasuke…Sakura…" he replied courtly.

" What happened in that dream?"

"What does it matter?! It was just a dream."

"Mh..." Kakashi remarked lazily, turning his hand over to pay special attention to his palm.

"Say Naruto…do you still like Sakura?"

The blond's face turned red with embarrassment and he gritted his teeth in annoyance.

"Jeez, sensei, you just _had_ to ask that, didn't you?"

"Yes. Well?"

" I like her…but…not in that way. She's more like a scary sister or something to me now."

Kakashi hummed lightly and decided to make Naruto's blush grow darker.

"Did you _like_ Sasuke?"

What the-?!

"No!" Naruto snapped indignantly and he glared heatedly at Kakashi.

He really did not like the way his sensei was "interrogating" him. Just what else would he be asking?!

"I thought our little Q&A session was over, sensei."

"I never said it was. So, anyone else you like?"

"I don't think that's any of your business. And even if there was someone, what makes you think I'd tell you?" Naruto muttered.

He was still an interesting shade of red, he knew.

"I'm your sensei, Naruto. You can tell me anything," Kakashi elaborated lightly.

"Why should I tell you anything anyway? I'm sure you wouldn't tell me what you are dreaming of; not that I would ever ask. I'm sure your dreams are filled with your Icha Icha stuff. I'll let you know that there are some people who don't think of dirty things all the time!" Naruto spat.

Kakashi smiled with his eye.

"I thought you wanted us to get to know one another better. So I'm asking you. Do you have any sexual experience?"

Kakashi smirked behind his mask and could just about feel Naruto's entire body tense up within seconds. Naruto was very easy to embarrass.

"Come on Naruto, you're seventeen...no need to be so shy... Answer the question."

Naruto's head snapped up and he glared heatedly at the jounin.

"No, I don't."

Mh, that sure showed some decency, Kakashi noted. Quite remarkable actually for someone who had been tagging along Master Jirayia for three years.

"And now stop asking me these stupid questions! I'd rather go back to bed now than getting angry because of you."

Kakashi walked up closer to the blond.

"Do I make you nervous, Naruto?"

"H-huh?"

_Wow, very smooth!_

"Do I make you nervous?" Kakashi asked again, smiling with his eye.

Naruto looked at the floor and blinked at that. Now he was blushing even more, he could feel it, as well as the anger building up inside him. Yes, of course Kakashi was making him feel nervous. He was so unpredictable! Naruto could never know what Kakashi would do next. He was constantly switching between the modes "nice" and "asshole", and that was definitely creepy. He was making him feel terribly agitated, especially the way he showed Naruto that he was definitely enjoying his discomfort. Why else would he keep asking him stupid questions like who he liked, whether he had liked _Sasuke_, at that...

"No."

The boy suddenly got up so fast the chair almost fell over and he quickly left the room, almost running past Kakashi to get back to the main room.

He stepped back into his futon, not making a single utterance.

Kakashi didn't say anything either besides a friendly "Good night", as if nothing had happened a few minutes ago.

'God, what an idiot,' Naruto thought as he closed his eyes, turning around so he wouldn't have to face Kakashi.

How could he ask him if he had _liked_ Sasuke just like that after he had witnessed him break down in front of him a few hours ago when he had shown him how deeply Sasuke's death affected him? How dare he?! Had he no respect at all? That pervy creep had some damn nerve! And why did he act so compassionate when he probably didn't even mean it?

He knew Kakashi was weird, but on previous missions he had never acted as weird as this.

Then again, Naruto had never been on a duo-mission with Kakashi before. Maybe he only showed people this side of him when others were not around.

Just what was up with that idiot? Why did he have to bother him like that? Why was he playing with him? What was it that he found so amusing about pissing him off all the time, and why did he seem to know the best way to do it?

Soon his mind had gotten too tired to continue thinking about Kakashi and his weird ass, and Naruto drifted off to sleep.

* * *

The next morning brought him awake around…well, he didn't know what time it was exactly since he didn't have a clock near him, but it was already getting lighter and at least Kakashi had not yet woken up.

Yawning silently, he got out of his futon and headed to the bathroom where he was grateful for the time alone. Now he could take a shower in peace without worrying about the cold water.

When he was washed and dressed, he grabbed his jacket, fully intent on leaving when he heard Kakashi's voice.

"Are you going somewhere?"

Naruto turned around to see Kakashi sitting up in the bed, looking more bored than tired. Not that he cared about what his sensei was thinking, he would go anyway.

"I'm just going for a walk," he replied, not looking at his sensei.

"Wouldn't you rather stay in here than walk around in the cold?"

Naruto crossed his arms, looking infuriated.

"Oh, so you can aggravate me whenever you feel like it? You're the reason I wanna get out! You just go read your stupid Icha Icha or something, enjoy your free time till I'm back!"

He angrily stormed out of the cottage and practically slammed the door off its hinges in frustration.

He trudged down the hill, not knowing or caring where he was going. He just knew he had to get away from Kakashi for a while to cool down.

After some time he found himself hastily walking through a forest. A very dark forest. Well, he wasn't expecting it to be sunny; it was the Land of Snow, after all.

Naruto soon reached the end of the forest-he thought it was much larger-and stopped. He was standing at the beginning of a gigantic field full of pure, white snow. The pale moonlight was gently brushing against the snow, making it slightly shiny.

"Wow…"

Suddenly, the blond heard a branch snap. He felt the presence of someone… No wait… There were more… two? Maybe three?

Before he could finish thinking, four men jumped out of the forest and surrounded him. They were wearing very similar outfits, so obviously they were from the same gang.

"Well, well, well, what have we here?" one of them said.

"Definitely a shinobi, I can feel his chakra. He's not one of us, though."

"Get him" ordered the last one.

What the fuck?

They quickly arched towards him and pulled out their weapons. One of them pulled out an ice sword and swung it, trying to kill the blond with one move.

Pity, Naruto was faster than them. He quickly jumped high into the air, creating three shadow clones.

"Attack!" he yelled out as the clones each jumped towards one of the four men.

"Ice Release: Freeze Shock!" yelled one of the men and started breathing against a shadow clone.

Naruto's clone immediately turned into pure ice, in a matter of seconds.

"What the…what just happened?!" asked the blond in confusion.

"Well," the man who destroyed his clone spoke up, "I turned your stupid little clone into pure ice. My kekkei genkai allows me to freeze anything down to its molecular level."

"And you can call me Iki," he added.

"Iki…" repeated the blond quietly.

"And who are the rest of you?"

"We might as well tell him, he won't live to tell others anyway" said Iki to his partners.

"I am Kobushi. My kekkei genkai enables me to destroy the chain between molecules, so I can shatter Iki's unbreakable ice and his victims with it."

"Fure. I can freeze anything down to its molecular level just by simply touching things."

"And I'm Hado. I can freeze my surroundings just by simply waving my hand. Like this!" he said and waved with this hand. A wave of blue energy was flying towards Naruto, going simply through his brothers.

"Damn it!" he cursed and tried to get away, but Kobushi was faster than him; he grabbed him by his hands and made him stay in place, waiting for the wave to hit him.

Luckily for Naruto, though, one of his clones was smart enough to jump in front of them and block the wave. His other clone, the only one left, jumped behind them and managed to remove Kobushi from Naruto.

"Piece of crap!" Kobushi yelled and destroyed the shadow clone. He turned around and noticed that Naruto was gone.

"On top of you!" yelled Iki.

"What?"

The man and looked up and saw Naruto coming down with a giant orb of chakra spinning in his hand.

"Rasengan!" he shouted hitting the man with it. The giant sphere of blue spinning energy was formed as it started cutting and crushing Kobushi.

"KOBUSHI!"

Fueled with anger that his brother was dead, Fure swiped his finger through the air, leaving a long and sharp ice sword behind it. He grabbed the icy creation and jumped at the blond. He hit him this time, but it was another clone.

"Damn it!" he threw the sword onto the ground.

A giant cloud of white smoke appeared in the air. It quickly vanished, leaving behind at least one hundred shadow clones.

"Ice Style: Massive Freeze Shock!" Iki yelled, producing a massive wave of ice, hitting most of the Naruto's clones with it. They all froze in a matter of seconds, falling to the ground inanimately.

"Ice Style: Giant Ice Hammer!" Hado announced as he created a giant hammer made of ice in the air. It hit the clones, smashing them into millions of tiny pieces. They scattered around like snow, gently gliding in the air.

Naruto stepped back onto the snow and quickly regained his balance. He wasn't used to fighting on snow. But his opponents were.

Hado suddenly appeared behind him, grabbing him by the arm and throwing him over himself. The blond hit the snow with a loud thud, disappearing in a cloud of smoke.

"What? Another clone?"

"Where is that brat?" Iki asked, scanning the area. The blond was nowhere to be found.

"He's pretty smart," Fure admitted through clenched teeth.

"Creating all of those shadow clones just to get us focus on them, instead of him."

Their leader, Hado, closed his eyes and focused his chakra on the area. He was trying to find the boy's exact location.

Meanwhile, Naruto was running back to the cottage, even though he wasn't sure that it was the best idea. If they found him, they would attack Kakashi-sensei probably as well. And under no circumstances did Naruto want that, no matter how much the man pissed him off.

"Found him…" Hado said .

"Let me have him" Fure said disappearing in the snow.

"Come on" Hado growled as he turned around, facing the forest, "let's follow them."

Because of his unique powers, Fure could also travel through snow twice as fast as he could run. He appeared a few feet away from the blond in a matter of minutes.

"What?!" Naruto yelled as he stopped jumping. "How did you do that?!"

"It doesn't matter, you're dead!" said the man and jumped at him. He created another sword and cut the blond all across the chest.

"AURGH!" Naruto cried in pain.

Fure then threw the sword away and tried freezing the teen by touching him, but his plan was cut short as the blond disappeared again into smoke.

"Another clone? How many of these bastards did he create?!"

"Giant Rasengan!" yelled the blond behind him, hitting him directly in the back.

The sudden and strong force of energy sent the man flying into the nearest tree, immediately crushing his skull. He was dead.

"Two down, two to go…" Naruto said to himself, panting.

He was slowly starting to run out of energy. He created so many shadow clones and molded a lot of chakra into two Giant Rasengans, and the fact that it was freezing cold wasn't making things any easier.

He heard the sound of footsteps and turned around. Hado and Iki were standing there, like nothing happened at all. Either they didn't care about their dead brothers, or they were really good at hiding their emotions.

"Just give up, boy. You aren't used to fighting in this climate. Unlike us," Iki sneered.

Naruto's eyes were slowly drifting together. He was running out of chakra, he was cold, hungry, thirsty; his body could just give up right there!

_No! I can't give up… What would Kakashi-sensei think of me?!_

"I **never** give up..."

"Why look at you, already exhausted."

"I _don't_ care…"

"Let's just finish this here and now!" Hado yelled and prepared to attack, but he stopped as the blond jumped up and created another round of shadow clones.

"His chakra reserves… amazing," stated Iki.

Naruto's clones attacked the two men, while Naruto sat on the ground, focusing on entering Sage Mode. He needed at least six minutes of focusing to be able to hold the Mode for enough time to create at least one giant Rasengan.

The shadow clones were doing a good job, but they couldn't hold the men back forever. Luckily there were so many of them.

"This is getting _really_ annoying," Iki yelled as he kept killing the clones, leaving behind them white clouds.

"What is he doing?"

"Hm?"

Hado looked over at the blond to see what he was up to.

"_Just a little more…_"

"IKI! STOP HIM!"

"_Just… a little… more…_"

"GET OUT OF MY WAY!"

Iki destroyed all of the clones left and made his way over to the blond, only to realize the blond was gone.

"What the…?"

"Up here."

Both of them looked up and saw a Naruto in Sage Mode standing on a long branch.

"_I_'m ending this now, idiots!"

Two more clones appeared and helped him create an enormous Rasengan.

Chakra was starting to build up in his hand, slowly starting to gain a shape, as well as spinning faster and faster.

" RASENGAN!" he shouted, throwing the giant spinning orb at the remaining enemy ninja. It reached them in a matter of seconds, creating a giant explosion of energy, cutting down all the trees in its path.

_Hehe. I did it._

It was over. He killed them. All four of them, all by himself.

"I should go back now…" he breathed as he returned from Sage Mode.

He scanned the area with his eyes and then set out to find his way back to the cottage with what little energy he had left.

He needed to go back…he needed to get some food and he had a lot of explaining to do… he needed to apologize to Kakashi for acting like a ditz…and show him that he could take care of himself.

* * *

The cottage was almost dark by the time Naruto stumbled in. Kakashi didn't seem to be here; Naruto realized as he shuffled over to a chair in the kitchen and sat down, panting harshly from the immense amount of pain and energy it had taken to sit down. His wounds burned in protest but he managed to get settled down on the chair.

When he had been walking back to the cottage he had almost collapsed with exhaustion several times, but he managed to proceed and finally got back.

Somehow it felt good to be so tired, he thought as he closed his eye and leaned forward to rest his head on his arms on the table, wishing that he could just fall asleep right there, even though sleeping on a chair was anything but comfortable. But it would do for now. Before he knew it he was asleep, right there in the kitchen.

* * *

Kakashi returned with a bag of groceries which he put down on the floor so he could take off his jacket and boots. The kitchen door was slightly open and he could recognize Naruto on the chair. He seemed to be sleeping.

He walked to the doorway and was about to put the groceries in the kitchen when something else caught his attention: he smelt blood.

As he moved closer to Naruto, he could see that his clothes were torn and he had many fresh wounds. It looked like Naruto had gotten into a big fight.

His eye narrowed at the condition his student was in and stood there.

"Naruto."

Getting no reply, he tried to shake Naruto awake, but the boy didn't move. He tried again but Naruto's too-calm breathing did not change.

He then touched his hand to Naruto's cheek which was very cold.

'_What the hell happened out there?' _Kakashi wondered with genuine concern.

He now led his hand to the boy's neck and channeled some chakra into one of the pressure points to increase Naruto's circulation.

Soon the blond began to stir.

"Interesting place to fall asleep, mh?"

Naruto slowly raised his head and winced painfully but he did not say anything. He was actually surprised to see Kakashi standing there beside him_. _He hadn't even sensed him. He really needed to be more careful next time. Next time it might not be Kakashi-sensei, but someone who could hurt him.

Kakashi retreated to the main room where he had left his backpack and pulled out a First-Aid Kit, placing it next to Naruto's futon.

He then went back to the kitchen and gently touched Naruto's shoulder to make sure the boy was still conscious.

Naruto flinched at the touch.

"Relax, it's just me."

The blond didn't reply but tried to get out of the chair, hissing in pain.

"Easy, let me help you with that."

"I'll be okay," Naruto croaked.

"You might be later on, but I need to take care of your wounds and it would be easier if you lay down."

He knew Naruto probably would have declined again, but it was better to tend to his wounds now than watch him endure more pain.

Naruto sighed in defeat and let Kakashi secure him under his arm and place his hand on his back to support it. The man carefully lifted him out of the chair and guided him to the main room.

As he tried to bend down to sit on his futon, Naruto had to bite down a yelp as he could feel the wounds on his abdomen and chest pulsing angrily. It burned as if it were on fire and his injuries were almost screaming in pain.

Kakashi reached up with a steady hand to unzip his jacket before going to the bathroom to get a clean washcloth which he held under the water. When it was wet enough, he turned off the water and made his way back to the main room, crouching down next to Naruto.

"This might burn a little," he warned.

Naruto watched silently as Kakashi cleansed his wounds. It really hurt, but he didn't want to act like a pussy in front of Kakashi, so he just grit his teeth together as his sensei was wordlessly tending to his many cuts, bruises and lacerations. Every now and then he released the breath he was holding and tried to relax, which was almost impossible.

Kakashi pulled some gauze, bandages and an antibacterial ointment out of the First-Aid kit and silently observed the way Naruto groaned in pain whenever he needed to raise his arm or lean forward.

He wondered what it was that he was sensing from his student, aside from the very obvious discomfort he was in. Was it guilt? Regret? Anger? Who did he even fight against? His opponents must have been quite strong if they were able to leave Naruto in this condition.

Naruto suspiciously eyed the large wound on his pelvic region. The wound was very close to the hem of his boxers and it was still bleeding. Some of the blood even dripped further down.

He swallowed thickly. His face was roasting with shame and embarrassment as he felt Kakashi pull his pants along with his boxers a bit down to attend to the wound.

The jounin glanced at his student and almost sighed with annoyance. Naruto really didn't need to feel so embarrassed in a situation like this.

"Just relax. I have to clean the wound properly, or the blood will stick to your skin and it will hurt even more when you move around."

As usual, Kakashi-sensei noticed just about everything.

He nodded and with a determined scowl, he leaned forward and inhaled sharply as the man placed the soaked cloth on the bloody cut across his abdomen.

He growled in pain but tried his darndest not to twitch a muscle as Kakashi painstakingly went over the cut as gently as he could. It still hurt like hell, but of course he would never admit that he felt as if he _were _in hell at that moment.

Thanks to the Kyuubi, he healed faster than normal people so he hoped that the procedure wouldn't have to be repeated the next morning.

When Kakashi was finished with cleansing the wounds and disinfecting them, he unrolled some bandages to dress them.

"Lean forwards a little so I can put this around you."

Naruto complied and Kakashi reached behind him to wrap the bandage around and to his front, repeating the motion until he was done.

When all of Naruto's wounds were taken care of, Kakashi stood up to put the things he used away.

Naruto, however, was still finding it hard to breathe, partly because of the great pain he was in, but also because being touched by Kakashi was one of the most awkward and definitely most uncomfortable things he had ever experienced. He had felt Kakashi was watching him and the way the man was gazing at him confused him.

At least he didn't look angry, or even disappointed. Not that he had ever really _looked _at him like that, and Naruto was unsure whether the man was just hiding his emotions while inwardly thinking about what a fool Naruto was, or whether he really didn't care.

Kakashi returned to the main room and crouched down next to Naruto.

"Are you going to tell me what happened?" he asked quietly.

Naruto was too tired to even remember what had happened and couldn't give him an answer.

"It's alright. Sleep now, and we'll talk later."

He shortly put his hand on the boy's shoulder before settling in his bed.

Time for some more Icha Icha.

* * *

**A/N **I want to thank **Electra Heartbreaker **for helping me with the fighting scene. I hate fighting scenes, but I needed one in this chapter and I am very grateful for his help. You're awesome, Jeff :D Feel free to check out his KakaNaru stories! He has quite a few KakaNaru projects running!


	5. Yet another surprise

**Warning: _! ! ! explicit content ! ! !_ If you can't handle gay smex, do not read this fic. It's as simple as that :P**

* * *

Naruto's eyes cracked open and slowly scanned his surroundings. The room was quite dark and he peered at the small window to see that it was still snowing outside, just not as heavily as before. Whenever 'before' was. How long had he been asleep?

He smacked his lips and tiredly rubbed his eyes, waiting for them to focus properly, and noticed that his arms, chest and abdomen were covered in bandages which needed to be changed, judging from the wound drainage that had soaked the gauze. Slowly, the memories of the fight were coming back, but he could barely remember what had happened when he returned to the cottage. Kakashi must have helped him and tended to his injuries.

Naruto felt like shit. His whole body ached – waves of pain flooded his chest with every breath he took, he was sore in places he didn't even know he had, and if that wasn't bad enough, he was sweaty, dirty and had the most stinging headache known to man. His dry tongue was intent on gathering some moisture, but his throat hurt when he swallowed. And now his stomach was growling, beckoning him to eat something, _anything_. But first he would have to go to the bathroom since his bladder was in dire need of relief.

Kakashi seemed to be in the kitchen or outside, for which Naruto was glad. He wasn't particularly keen on walking into the man yet. He really just wanted to get up and take a nice, warm shower to rid the awful stickiness off his body.

Taking a deep breath, Naruto gathered his strength and sat up, wincing at the sharp pain that was surging through his stomach. His vision blurred and he tried not to lose his balance as he stood up and carefully made his way to the bathroom, shivering as his feet touched the cold floor with every step.

After closing the door, he went to finally relieve his aching bladder. Then he walked over to the sink and took a look in the mirror. Whoa, did he look like a mess. His eyes were puffy and red like he hadn't slept in a fortnight and his hair looked disgustingly greasy and definitely needed to be washed.

He absentmindedly grabbed his toothbrush, squirted some toothpaste on it and brushed his teeth to replace the nasty taste of his mouth with a pleasant, fresh, minty one. When he was finished, he stripped off his boxers and carefully stepped into the shower cabin and turned on the water, which, to his great relief, was warm enough to enjoy. However, washing himself without hurting himself turned out to be quite challenging due to the bandages. He tried not to get them wet as he scrubbed himself languidly, but that was too big an effort and useless anyway, since he would need to change them afterwards anyway. Nevertheless, whenever the water soaked through the gauze, the wounds underneath would practically sing in agony. Man, why couldn't Kurama speed up the healing process any further?

Huffing raggedly, Naruto slumped against the wall, letting the warm rays of water somewhat relax his tense body.

He didn't know how long he had been in the shower, but after some time he noticed that the water was getting colder and he quickly turned it off to prevent suffering from a temperature shock, stepped out of the shower and immediately grabbed his towel to dry himself. He then realized that he had completely forgotten to bring along some new clothes. Damn it! His teeth were chattering noisily and he started to cough again, causing his chest to hurt even more.

Clutching his wet towel as tightly as possible with his left hand, he grabbed the first-aid kit with his right one. After opening the bathroom door with his elbow, he slowly walked into the main room and finally sat down on his futon.

He covered himself with the blanket, which thankfully was a whole lot warmer than the wet towel which he now dropped to the floor.

"Auuuugh," Naruto let out a pained groan. His head hurt like hell, his heart was pounding in his chest and his breathing accelerated. If the price for getting an ANBU assignment as a genin was to get attacked by a bunch of crazy idiots and get a cold, then he almost regretted coming here in the first place.

"Awake already?" a voice suddenly said from out of nowhere. Naruto's head snapped to the side and he blinked at the only person he expected to see. Kakashi was walking towards him, holding a cup in his hands.

"Hey, Kakashi-sensei…," Naruto mumbled when suddenly the cup was pushed in his face.

"Huh?"

"Tea," the taller man droned in a bored voice, but his eye was smiling.

"Oh…"

"Careful, it's still very hot," he warned as he handed him the cup.

After coughing hard, Naruto managed to acknowledge his sensei's gesture with a croaked "thanks", and blew away the steam to prevent his tongue from burning. Then he carefully sipped the hot fluid that instantly warmed him from the inside. That felt good.

Kakashi walked over to the bed and sat down, watching Naruto drink his tea. The blond avoided his gaze and instead looked around the room, emphasizing his discomfort.

"How are you feeling?" Kakashi finally broke the awkward silence.

"I'm…tired," Naruto admitted quietly, already feeling his eyelids becoming heavier. Taking a shower had been more exhausting than he would have expected, and he would gladly go back to sleep this very instant. But...he would still have to stay awake until he had apologized to Kakashi for running off yesterday.

"Uhm…sensei?"

The boy's hesitant voice reached his ears and he responded,

"Yes, Naruto?"

A few moments passed and Kakashi was expectantly waiting for him to word what he wanted to say. Naruto continued to stare at his cup and could feel that Kakashi's eyes were still fixed on him. He finally started to speak, though his voice came out quieter than he had intended.

"What?"

"I said I was sorry and that it would never happen again," Naruto repeated in a small voice before his throat got tight and let out another harsh cough.

"It was stupid and immature of me, and I will try to control my temper better," he continued. "I shouldn't complain about not being taken seriously when I still act like a little punk sometimes. So I guess…well, I'm really sorry about what happened."

Kakashi shrugged, though Naruto couldn't see him from that angle, so he confirmed his forgiveness with a mere "It's alright."

Since this was _Kakashi_, Naruto was not surprised to hear nothing more than a brief remark of…indifference almost, instead of a long and angry lecture someone like Iruka would have probably given him. Still, Kakashi's frustratingly monotone voice was quite…Naruto couldn't really describe that feeling. It was annoying and at the same time relieving, but most of all it was hard to interpret. What if Kakashi really found him stupid and childish for taking off like that instead of keeping his calm? After all, Naruto had no doubt about it that his sensei was purposely teasing him, probably to train him to keep his temper. But had the man really nothing else to say than "It's alright"?

"So…you're not mad at me?" Naruto asked, immediately cursing himself for sounding like an immature kid again.

Kakashi smiled with his eye.

"Everyone needs to vent sometime after certain situations of any kind. If you feel like you need some space or time for yourself, you are free to leave. I knew you'd come back after you have calmed down a bit. You're quite easy to read, you know. I wasn't mad at you for leaving, but I was very worried when I saw in what state you had come back. You owe me an explanation rather than an apology. So tell, what exactly happened to you out there?"

Naruto, feeling a bit more at ease now, stared at his cup, trying to recall the details of the attack.

"Well uh…I was walking through the forest and after some time, I sensed someone else's presence, and that was when those guys, I think there were four of them, attacked me with some ice-style jutsus. They were pretty strong and really fast and I'm sure they were ninja from the Land of Snow because fighting in this climate seemed not to be a problem for them, so they must have been used to it. But I managed to finish them off and…I guess their bodies are still out there. I would have put them aside but I barely had any chakra left, so I just left them there and tried to get back to the cottage…"

Kakashi nodded and after noticing the First-Aid kit next to Naruto he stood up and walked towards Naruto.

"It's okay. I'll go out and try to locate and identify the bodies after changing your bandages. They're probably soaked by now."

He opened the first-aid kit and pulled out the items he would need to redress Naruto's wounds.

"Put down the blanket and raise your arms a bit," Kakashi said.

Naruto did as he was told, but when he realized that he still wasn't wearing any underwear, his eyes widened frantically. Shit! He hadn't thought of immediately grabbing some after getting out of the bathroom! Tucking the blanket over his skinny hips, he tensed as he tried to keep it in place to not reveal his private parts which were none of Kakashi's business. Well, at least Sai wasn't present, thank Kami-sama…

Kakashi took the scissors and cut the largest bandage that covered Naruto's chest to remove it. He carefully unwrapped the old gauze until he reached the last layer which he picked off as gently as possible. Still, Naruto winced at the pain that started shooting through him because the gauze was sticking to the wet wound.

"It's healing nicely," Kakashi remarked as he noticed the new, tender skin that had been growing since last night. It was still red and some parts were not closed yet, but in comparison to the average person, Naruto's healing rate was simply phenomenal, thanks to the Kyuubi. A day or two and the torn skin would be entirely regenerated. The minor lacerations he had noticed the other night were already gone.

Kakashi grabbed the anti-septic cream and applied it on Naruto's chest, feeling the boy's heavy breathing beneath his fingers.

"I wonder why they attacked me just like that, though," Naruto suddenly broke the uncomfortable silence as Kakashi took out a new bandage and wrapped it around his chest.

"I mean, wouldn't the Snow Ninja know that we are here? Granny Tsunade sent us here, so the feudal lord of the Land of Snow must have been informed of our mission, right? We're supposed to watch this cottage to see if any criminals come here, and... it can't be that much of a top-secret mission, especially since Grandma Tsunade told me that it was only ranked ANBU level because most regular ninja wouldn't necessarily want to be out here. So if those guys didn't know we were coming to investigate…then they might be –"

Naruto sneezed strongly into his elbow pit and started to cough heavily as if he had just run a mile.

"…then they might be nuke-nin and therefore weren't expecting us and attacked you anyway," Kakashi finished Naruto's sentence, pulling out a tissue from his pocket which he handed Naruto, who gratefully took it and wiped his running nose. He absolutely despised being sick, which he rarely was, and it was always hard to get used to. He wished he could shut down the whole world and sleep and wake up fully recovered a few hours later.

"Lady Tsunade didn't mention whether the criminals were ninja or not. One possibility would be that your opponents were the criminals Tsunade was talking about, at least some of them, since we don't know how large the group was, or is. In that case, I'll put a protective seal on the cottage so that no one will be able to intrude while I'm away, since you are in no state to defend yourself properly if someone attacks you again. Your body needs enough time to rest, so just take it easy today."

Naruto nodded and grunted in response, too occupied with trying to suppress a cry of pain, and Kakashi could hear his breath hitch fearfully as well as just about feel his entire body tense as he removed the bandage around his pelvic region.

He almost chuckled at Naruto's distress when he noticed that the boy wasn't wearing any underwear. Hn, he could tease him about it and have some fun in watching the feisty kid have another outburst of rage, but then again, that would make Naruto either accuse him of being an irrespective asshole again (which he knew he was), or beat him to a pulp (if the kid had the strength). Deciding to show off his more merciful side, he did not say anything and simply proceeded with changing the bandage and applying the ointment on the laceration, accidentally brushing against a tiny part of the soft, blond pubic hair, the motion sending Naruto's blood up to his face. Kakashi completely ignored the little gasp that left his student's mouth and simply wrapped the new gauze around Naruto's hips.

It sure made Naruto feel uncomfortable and damned that the wound underneath the new bandage was itchy at that moment, making him want to rub it anxiously, but he really didn't want it to look as though he were trying to scratch his balls in front of his sensei. So he just gritted his teeth together, choosing to endure the embarrassing scenario like a man.

"There. All done," Kakashi said after what felt like an eternity as he closed the last bandage. Naruto nodded in relief and watched his sensei put the items he used back into the first-aid kit. He was shivering, teeth chattering like he was freezing to death.

Kakashi suddenly took off his sweater and handed it to Naruto.

"Wear this. It's still warm from my body heat," he offered.

Naruto gave him a surprised look. He wasn't used to random acts of kindness and still not expecting them from Kakashi, but he took the man's blue sweater anyway and put it on; almost sighing in contentment as the warm fabric snugly touched his skin.

"Thanks, sensei…"

Kakashi just nodded as he collected the old gauze. He then left the room to throw it away into the kitchen garbage can, smiling at the thought that Naruto wearing his blue sweater resembled Minato even more. He practically looked like a mini-version of his former sensei.

In the meantime, Naruto had finally put on some underwear and his PJ pants and was sitting cross-legged on his futon. Kakashi returned after a while holding a bowl with his hands.

"It's porridge. Eat; it'll help you restore your strength."

It was a mere coincidence that Naruto's stomach was making uncanny noises again the moment Kakashi handed him the bowl. The porridge looked rather disgusting and really wasn't one of his favorite things to eat, but his empty stomach was making him feel sick and he figured he'd eat it anyway after it had cooled down a bit since his stomach was hurting so badly, so he unenthusiastically stirred his porridge with the spoon, wishing that he had a bowl of Ichiraku ramen, or even instant ramen instead.

Meanwhile, Kakashi had gotten fully dressed in his gear and was ready to leave.

"I'm going out now to find the bodies. I'll be back whenever. You just take it easy, okay? Try to rest as much as you can," he said turning to Naruto.

"Okay. Bye, Kakashi-sensei."

Moments later, Kakashi exited the cottage and closed the door, and Naruto was left by himself again.

Staring at the slimy muck, he put the first spoonful in his mouth and was about to cringe at the bland taste until he realized that he wasn't able to taste anything anyway because of his flu. Since he couldn't complain about the taste now, he ate the rest of the porridge, mouthful after mouthful, until the bowl was empty and his stomach was full. Sighing out of contentment or boredom, he settled down on his futon, trying to make himself comfortable and perhaps sleep some more, since there was nothing there with which he could possibly entertain himself, except perhaps the long sleeves of Kakashi's sweater. At least that would keep him warm.

Somehow, his animalistic instinct urged him to take in the sweater's scent, even though he wasn't able to smell it now. But he remembered it since he was so used to it by now. He often associated certain smells with certain people. Iruka for example smelt somewhat earthy or nutty. The Pervy Sage used to have the smell of sake around him, and Tsunade smelt of liquor and oranges. Sakura often used a cherry-scented fragrance, Ino used a floral one, and Hinata's scent reminded him of lavender. Kiba always smelt of dogs, and Sai hardly smelt of anything ('how weird was that?!'). But Kakashi's scent was fresh, soapy and a bit musky. Actually, Naruto liked that one most. It was…refreshing, calming even…

'Augh, stop it, Naruto!' he yelled at his annoying muse. As if this whole act of regularly distinguishing people's scent wasn't creepy enough. He once told Shikamaru and Choji about it, and they had given him a weird look and Shikamaru had asked him whether he was crazy or something. Choji had said it wasn't that bad, since he also paid close attention to the smell of people to find out who might have food with them, or something like that.

Shaking his head, Naruto carried the bowl to the kitchen sink and crawled back into his futon, wondering whether the bodies were still there. What if one of them was not dead after all, and had gone to get reinforcement and attack again? Hopefully, Kakashi wouldn't be facing any trouble out there. If he got injured as well, things would look pretty bad for them- especially because Kakashi would need longer to heal.

Deciding not to provoke any jinx, Naruto let his thoughts shift to his teammates. Hn, maybe Sasuke was walking around hell, finding something new to avenge, he thought sadly. Even after the talk with Kakashi he felt horrible about the fact that he had killed his best friend. The mere thought almost urged him to go to the bathroom and properly wash his hands, not that it would help or make it less regretful. It would take a lot of time for him to get over it, if that would ever happen. Even Kakashi still carried the scars of losing his friends. It was probably part of every shinobi's life- killing, losing, suffering and making others suffer, possibly even unintentionally. Switching between being the victim and the culprit.

Yes, it was hard. And Naruto would always remember that day when Team 7 buried Zabuza and Haku. He had been so frustrated that they had to die, especially Haku, who had died a tool of someone who didn't show his appreciation for him until the very end. He couldn't understand back then that death was a crucial part of a ninja's life, and he had wished to follow his own ninja way. Naruto smiled at his own childish naivety. Being a ninja had always been his biggest dream, but sometimes he hated his profession. It could be so hard. Though now that he was older and slightly more mature, he knew that any human interaction came with risks. One couldn't always get along with everyone, because people were different. Everyone has different thoughts, ideas, virtues, goals- and it had always been Pervy Sage's dream that one day, people would be able to understand each other. Then there would be no need to hurt people, lead wars, ruin other people's lives…there would be no destruction. Sighing, Naruto finally closed his tired eyes and after a while, he fell asleep once more.

* * *

"So…there they are," Kakashi said to himself when he finally discovered the corpses. It had been a long walk until he reached the core of the forest. Now he was glad to find all four bodies, since there had been the risk that one of them was still alive and had told someone else about the presence of an outsider.

'I'd better report this to Tsunade-sama…'

Kakashi took off his left glove and bit his thumb to perform the summoning jutsu. A few moments later, a very grumpy-looking Pakkun was sitting in front of him, trying to rid the snow off his fur with his left hind leg.

"Hey, boss. What did you summon me into this icebox for?"

Kakashi smiled with his eye.

"Sorry, Pakkun. But I need you to inform Lady Tsunade about these guys over there. They attacked Naruto yesterday and I don´t know if there are more of them or if they were the criminals Tsunade was talking about when she described the mission. They might be nuke-nin from the Land of Snow, since it is very unlikely that regular shinobi from Yukigakure would just randomly try to kill strangers. After all, this place is known for its people's diplomacy rather than their urge to cause fights."

"Naruto- is he alright?" the pug asked.

"He was badly injured and got a cold, but he should be fine in a day or two, with his healing rate. I left him in the cottage to rest. I'll have to take the bodies to Yukigakure for identification. Once we settle the matter with the ninja office here, we can return to Konoha."

"Right. I'll tell her. Seeya!"

The brown pug vanished, leaving a poof of smoke behind. Kakashi neatly laid the scattered bodies next to each other and pulled out some ninja wire out of his weapon pouch. Using a lightning-style jutsu, he then surged a generous amount of electricity into the wire and created a surrogate electric fence so that nobody could move the bodies. Satisfied with his (brilliant) idea, he made his way back to the cottage, not ceasing to stay alert, just in case something happened.

* * *

Naruto woke up about two hours after he had fallen asleep, and feeling slightly better, but thirsty, he sat up, wearily rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. He then stepped out of his futon and walked to the kitchen to boil some water for a pot of tea. While the water was boiling, he went to the bathroom and soon returned to the kitchen where he filled the pot with the hot water and tealeaves. He then carefully carried the teapot and his cup to the main room and placed them on the small table.

When he turned around, he noticed something on Kakashi's bed. Stepping closer, he noticed that it was a book, and judging from the cover, it couldn't be an Icha Icha novel.

That was weird.

He had never seen Kakashi read anything besides his infamous blue, green and orange books, and having spent a long time with the author of that pervy garbage, Naruto knew that there weren't any other versions of that series. The deluxe editions were just slightly bigger, but they didn't have a different color. The book on the bed was black. If it wasn´t Icha Icha, then maybe it was a normal book? Or perhaps a jutsu-guide?

Feeling terribly bored and curious, Naruto decided to check out the book and turned it around to see the cover and the title.

' '_Hard feelings', by Akito Bakusui.'_

Naruto opened the book and turned to the page Kakashi had bookmarked and glanced at the first sentence.

_Daisuke fucked Fukimaru slowly, but hard, grinning like a madman every time the brown-haired man screamed his name."_

Naruto's eyes widened several degrees in utter surprise. Kakashi-sensei read…YAOI? What was up with that? As if his normal hentai or yuri porn that was constantly out for the world to see wasn't bad enough! Kakashi…what…a…PERV! Not that him being a perv was anything new. And certainly not that him being full of surprises was anything new. But this really was unexpected. Naruto had never really pegged his sensei for being into guys. Then again…he hardly knew the man, so he could be into anything – maybe even trees, or stones for all he cared. Did he care? NO! Not really. Right?

...Augh fuck that. Who was he trying to fool? _Of course_ he was interested in anything that seemed to be a secret. Secrets were meant to be discovered, just as rules were meant to be bent.

Naruto didn't put the book back. Not that he was particularly interested in it, of course. But his eyes continued to scan the following paragraph without the consent of his conscious, which was telling him to stop reading and go back to sleep.

"_Can you take some more, Fuki, do you want it? Do you want some more?"_

"_Oh God, Daisuke, yes, go deeper…yes ,there!" Fukimaru grunted as his partner slammed his condom-covered rod into his swollen asshole. It hurt, but in a good way, like the pain was the small price he had to pay in order to satisfy his hidden desire. _

_"Fuck!" Daisuke was coming, coming so hard, he could feel Fukimaru's muscles clench around his member impaled inside the man. He held him still as he emptied his own seed into the condom, his cock firmly in place, deep within Fukimaru._

_Daisuke panted as he carefully slid out of the smaller man, leaning down to whisper hotly in his ear._

_"Do you want to cum too, Fuki?"_

_"Fuck… yes!"_

_"Then cum in my mouth."_

Another sentence.

And another one.

And another one.

The words Naruto's mind was converting into vivid images were doing very interesting things to his libido. He had never read gay porn before, and he hadn't expected that this would be such a turn-on on him.

'_Wait, WHAT?_' he yelled at his inner muse as he noticed that his pants were getting tight in the front. Why did his junior like it? Why did _he_ like it? What was so arousing about two guys screwing each other?

Suddenly, Naruto heard a cracking noise which nearly made his heart stop. SHIT! What if Kakashi-sensei came back now? Naruto instinctively threw the book back on the bed and slinked off to his futon.

...

..

Phew…nothing had happened, and the door was still closed.

'_Thank goodness,'_ Naruto thought to himself, glancing over in the direction of the bed. He was so strongly tempted to get the book and continue reading, even though the more decent part of his brain was screaming at him not do so. Ignoring that inner voice, he waited a few moments, just to make sure that he really was alone, and stood up again to pick up the black book. Having almost forgotten about his tea, he decided to read at the small table, so he would be able to drink too. The chair was a bit uncomfortable, especially since his body was still sore, but he wouldn't stay there for long anyway. He would just finish that chapter and then go back to sleep.

After settling himself on the table and pouring some tea into his cup, he opened the book on page 47 were he had last stopped and continued to read.

_Fukimaru took his dripping erection in his hand and poised it at Daisuke's mouth, aching at how badly he wanted to feel his lover's plump, soft lips sliding up and down his throbbing manhood. He squeezed his dick and sighed in relief when Daisuke finally ran his tongue over the tip to catch some of the pre-cum with his tongue. Warm air puffed out as Daisuke opened his mouth, and when Fukimaru felt his lover's tongue on the head of his dick, his hands moved up to twine in Daisuke's hair when the man's skilled tongue finally became more animated._

_Daisuke smirked as he heard his lover moan with pleasure when he added some pressure to the vein on the underside of his erection. _

_"Ughoh, yes, Dai-kun, that's so fucking good!," Fukimaru moaned appreciatively, closing his eyes as his mind was just about to take a vacation, sending him to a world of endless pleasure._

Naruto's mind was just about to take a vacation too. He squirmed a bit in his seat. He was fully hard by now, and he just couldn't stop reading! What a curse this wretched little book was! But he liked it. He didn't know why, but for some reason, he found this detailed description of two guys having sex terribly arousing the more he thought about it. This was way better than that stupid Icha Icha.

Pulling the teapot closer, he lifted his cup to help himself with some more tea, not anticipating that what would happen next would make him regret so much as touching the book he was currently occupying himself with.

When he brought the full cup to his lips, he sneezed violently and spilled the tea all over the open page.

"**SHIT**!"

Within a split second, Naruto could feel the adrenaline flooding his system.

He frantically stared down at the stained book in disbelief, feeling so utterly stupid, stupid, STUPID for taking Kakashi's stuff in the first place and for letting such a horrible thing happen.

'_Why did I... Why did I... do that?'_

He felt like crying. Did Karma hate him that much? Why did this have to happen? Why did he have to sneeze when he was holding a cup of tea, over a book, at that?!

'_Okay, Naruto, chill. Maybe you can find a way to save your ass._'

His heart was beating so hard it felt like it was trying to break out of his chest and his mind was racing to figure out how he was going to clean this up and make it look as though nothing had happened. A heating jutsu perhaps? No, if he messed that up, the book would probably catch fire. There was no radiator in the cottage, and Kakashi could be coming home any minute.

'_Help me…,' _he pleaded to himself.

Naruto already knew his was screwed. Kakashi, being the perceptive genius he was, would find out what he had done, and probably make him pay dearly for touching his stuff without asking, and on top of that, ruining it.

Naruto would forever remember the horrible incident in his academy days when his class was on a field trip with Iruka-sensei and he ate too much instant ramen which made him throw up all over his classmate's brand-new dress. The girl had broken into tears, and when her parents found out what had happened, they had given Naruto such a dirty look, he had thought they would kill him right there. Iruka had given him detention for two weeks, and that was 10 years ago. Kami-sama knew what Naruto's punishment would be this time. While Naruto doubted that Kakashi would physically punish him for ruining his book, he still had this horrible sinking feeling in his stomach from not knowing what would happen next. He doubted that any of this would go smoothly. Surely Kakashi would do something to him. Yes, Kakashi would probably give him hell about it, in whatever way. He had proven to sometimes be quite an asshole who seemed to enjoy having fun at someone else's expense. Plus he could be quite intimidating. He had faced it a few days ago and distinctly remembered how Kakashi had approached him trying to remind him to show more respect to a superior – in that case, him.

Naruto, who had been too lost in his anxieties and agonizing over his stupidity, was jolted back to reality when suddenly the sound of his name being called from a very familiar voice reached his ears. A second later, he realized that Kakashi had already entered the cottage, too soon and completely at the wrong time.

Naruto froze.

'_Shit_.'

"I found the bodies. I won't manage to bring all four of them to the headquarters of the Snow Ninja for the identification process by myself, so we'll pick them up tomorrow together, if you feel better by then," the silver-haired man informed while taking off his coat and boots.

It took Naruto a few moments to process what the guy had said.

"Oh…yeah. Right," he said in a tight voice.

Kakashi narrowed his eye. Naruto looked like he had seen a ghost or something, or was he sick?

"Naruto…are you alright?"

Kakashi's voice ripped into his thoughts and he quickly looked at him, feeling stupid for letting his thoughts carry him away.

He didn't know what to say. He couldn't keep staring at him like that, especially since Kakashi was looking at him expectantly. The man stepped up to him and waited for Naruto to word whatever he wanted to say, and Naruto, feeling a shudder of fear lace up his spine, backed away and looked at the floor uneasily.

'_Act casual, damn it!'_

" …is something wrong?" Kakashi had asked in a concerned voice. He was very curious now. What could have made his student so unnerved?

"U-um..." was all he could utter.

'_You bet something is wrong…'_

"Sensei…. I'm so sorry!"

Kakashi was genuinely confused at the exclamation, not knowing for the life of him what his student was talking about.

"Mh? What for?"

What could it possibly be that made the normally overconfident kid so nervous?

Taking a deep breath, Naruto started his confession.

"I…well, I was sleeping for some time and when I woke up, I saw that book on your bed, and since it was neither blue nor orange nor green, I thought that it was a normal book , uh, normal as in not an Icha-Icha novel, and I started reading it…."

Naruto hung his head shamefully and instantly tensed up with fear because of the fact that he didn't know how Kakashi would react to this.

"…and I sneezed and spilled some tea over it and now the page is probably ruined and…I'm so sorry!"

Now that was interesting…and certainly funny. Kakashi hadn't been sure whether to expect Naruto to read that particular book he had purposely left on the bed, to see if Naruto would be able to resist his curiosity, but he hadn't seen something like _that _coming.

What surprised Naruto was that Kakashi didn't look angry, not even disappointed. If he was reading his eye correctly the man was actually smirking.

His interpretation of the guy's usually inexpressive face was supported when the jounin started to chuckle, either finding Naruto's nervousness far more amusing than his stupidity, or the fact that he had actually read gay porn.

"Naruto… I had no idea you were into gay porn."

'_Ah, there it was.'_

Kakashi immediately noticed the twitch in one of Naruto's eyes and the blush spreading across his face.

"Well, I had no idea you were into gay porn either, sensei!" he spluttered.

Damn it, why did he have to say 'either'? That implied that he liked it, and Kakashi did _not_ have to know that!

Kakashi chuckled.

"Was it interesting? Informative?"

He almost knew Kakashi was going to say something like that. He should know, by now.

"That's none of your business."

"Then it must have been."

Naruto's eyes widened frantically.

"Why did you leave it out there in the first place?"

Kakashi shrugged and took the book from the table, inspecting the wet pages.

"Oh, I just wanted to see if my favorite student was righteous enough," he elaborated lightly, now looking at a spot on his palm.

"W-What do you mean?" Naruto stuttered.

Kakashi smiled at the teen. He was so adorable when he was nervous.

"I left it there to see if you would take it. Remember when I told you that I had come here to show you what it's like to be an ANBU? You see, they know they can under no circumstances read documents without explicit permission of their superior. You already learned that during the Chuunin exams, but that was quite long ago, mh?

"Hn," Naruto grunted, considering the logic. Kakashi had a point.

"I wouldn't have touched it if it were a _document_, and besides, you never explicitly told me_ not_ to touch your books!" he responded defensively.

He hoped that was true, since he really couldn't remember Kakashi giving him that order.

Before the man could say anything, Naruto continued, "Why do you even go around reading that stuff in front of everybody? Who would approach a guy who reads books like that in public?"

Kakashi shrugged.

"I thought my lack of concern of what people think of me was rather obvious. And perhaps I purposely read my porn in public to avoid any relationships, and of course to annoy my little charge," he said, smiling with his eye.

Naruto frowned angrily, but considered what Kakashi just said. He had never thought of the reading of x-rated novels in public as a mechanism to avoid relationships.

"But seriously sensei, don't you want a girlfriend? Most guys your age are already married!"

"No."

"Why?" Naruto blurted out before he caught himself and added more calmly, "If you don't mind telling me."

"I don't mind," Kakashi said, although he never liked talking about his past, or anything personal, and his love life was very personal indeed. Most, if not all of his comrades who knew him since his teens only knew half the story along with some rumors that were going around. Everyone wanted to know what his love life was like, and no one ever found out.

"Well...believe it or not, I'm actually not interested in women. And it's been a long time since I've been in a relationship with a man. I don't want to be in a relationship anymore."


	6. Sincerity

Naruto's eyes widened a little and he could feel the heat spread across his face. Finding out that his sensei read yaoi was one thing, but being the sole person to witness him admit that he didn't have a liking in women certainly was another. Hello?! The mysterious, secretive Kakashi Hatake who hardly ever mentioned anything personal to anyone had actually just told him that he was gay!

"Oh…," was all he managed to say. What else should he say? He certainly wouldn't freak out over that, especially since he had already done so when he had found the book. After that incident, nothing seemed to be shocking anymore. At least he hoped so.

He absentmindedly pulled the long sleeves of the sweater over his clammy hands before tucking them into the pockets of his pants and shifted nervously from one foot to the other, trying to avoid the man's penetrating gaze by pretending to find interest in the floor for a few moments, but he soon let his eyes move up and glance at the man's face every now and then so he would not look too much like a coward who didn't have the guts to maintain eye contact after embarrassing situations. It really did feel awkward, to suddenly be told something that had probably been none of his business.

Kakashi of course didn't show the slightest sign of unease at all. He just casually leaned against the wall next to the kitchen and had his hands in his pockets as well, looking as though he were about to drift off into the Land of Boredom any moment now.

Gah! How could that bastard stay so calm all the time?!

"Is there any tea left?" the jounin suddenly asked in a nonchalant voice, eying the teapot on the table.

"Yeah," Naruto replied almost too hurriedly and didn't even dare to smile. However, he did thank his stars that it was Kakashi who had changed the subject. He himself wouldn't have known what to say without making it seem too awkward than it already was. He didn't want to feel like a dumbass all over again, having already fallen flat on his face today, and other times this week.

"Thanks, Naruto."

Ha, maybe Kakashi was uncomfortable after all and therefore had wanted to quickly change the subject himself?

Naruto watched his sensei casually walk to the table and take the teapot along to the kitchen, probably to drink his tea in privacy. His assumption was confirmed when Kakashi closed the kitchen door behind him.

"Phew," Naruto let out a quiet sigh of relief at the thought of finally being alone again. He stared at the closed door for a while and inattentively chewed on his bottom lip, just about hearing his mind groan as it digested all this excitement. All because of one stupid book. He silently cursed himself. There was a village out there missing its idiot, and that idiot happened to walk into every little trap. Frustration welled up in him again and he felt some beads of sweat tickling his forehead which he wiped away with his sleeve while pacing to the bathroom to brush his teeth since he wouldn't be eating anything tonight, having completely lost his appetite after that horrible accident.

He grabbed his toothbrush, applied a dash of toothpaste on it and started brushing his teeth.

Come to think of it, the little black book had actually been the cause of one of his biggest epiphanies ever. Kakashi-sensei was a mystery, and everyone thought that finding out even one of the man's secrets was about as impossible as forcing two mismatching puzzle pieces together.

But now he had the feeling that he really was on the way of really getting to know the man better.

So Kakashi-sensei really was gay, huh? Who would have thought that?! And people called _him_ unpredictable? They ought to take a look at Kakashi Hatake!

He wondered who else officially knew of Kakashi's sexual orientation. In Konoha, rumors spread quickly, and usually within 48 hours, practically everybody in the village would have heard them. He knew. He had heard enough rumors, ranging from Shizune being into S&M because apparently, she once let it slip that she enjoyed being Tsunade's slave, to Izumo being together with Kotetsu, although that rumor had recently been proven to be true. Nevertheless, people had been gossiping about it for ages.

Of course there were a lot of rumors involving Mr. Cryptic going around. Hell, the guy was famous even in foreign villages, and surely what most people would describe a hot person. He was built nicely, had a nice voice, was smart, skilled, famous, _mysterious…_and most people were probably too blinded by his strength and therefore didn't notice his flaws, but had the picture of a perfect shinobi in their minds when they thought about him. The number of people who found him attractive must be enormous. There were definitely enough people who believed Kakashi-sensei could probably seduce a dead flower if he wanted to. So if anyone ever claimed to have slept with the great Copy-nin, the news would spread like herpes. But Naruto was positive that none of the rumors concerning Kakashi were really true. After all, he was very thorough in everything he did, so if he ever had casual sex with someone, he would probably do so in other villages and make sure that he didn't give away his true identity. Maybe he even used genjutsu on his fuckbuddies or deleted their memories with his Sharingan afterwards. He surely would never let any information concerning his sex life come to light, even if some people were craving to find out, just as Naruto was craving to see his face.

Naruto could distinctly remember what Kakashi had mentioned about his preference, since he hadn't said much at all, that damned secretive bastard.

If it had been "a long time" since he had been in a relationship, and hadn't been interested in forming a new one ever since, then maybe he just wasn't the type to be in a committed relationship? He probably didn't even have any really close friends since he always insisted on being on his own.

Perhaps that was beside the point. Nonono, that _was_ the point. It was no surprise that he didn't seek any real-life romance either, especially when he had all those dirty books which he probably indulged in to compensate for his self-induced solitude.

Oh, and maybe Kakashi really did prefer secretly whoring around on missions in different villages, pretty much like the Pervy Sage had been prone to do. Ugh, this reminded him of that one time he and Jirayia had been at that nightclub where they encountered that drunken gay man who after a few more drinks tried to seduce an equally drunken Jirayia, and the notorious womanizer had been so hammered that he had actually almost given in if it hadn't been for the three busty ladies sitting beside him, who were aggressively pulling him back to remind him of their presence.

Naruto's mind started to replace the man with Kakashi, but that experiment failed when his mind tried to censor the thought of his sensei making out with the Pervy Sage. There were some things he just did not want to visualize.

What made him wonder even more though was who his sensei had really been together with. In retrospect, he really should have asked him, but then again, he doubted that Kakashi would tell him the truth.

Naruto sneered mischievously. Maybe Gai-sensei had challenged Kakashi into an intimate relationship and had traumatized him with his weird antics, making him regret his decision for the rest of his life. His stomach clenched at the mere thought. Kakashi and Gai…no. That was just wrong.

He knew that some girls, especially Tenten and Ino and sometimes even Sakura, liked to play with the idea of Kakashi and Iruka being in a secret relationship.

"Shipping KakaIru" they called it, and apparently, it was quite the sport among the girls. They clearly enjoyed figuring out which guys would make a perfect match. UGH! Poor Iruka-sensei! If only he knew what those girls were thinking of him! They probably even read more yaoi than Kakashi himself.

Putting the amusement aside, Naruto's mind touched a more serious surface. Maybe Kakashi had loved Tobi- no, Obito. He had mentioned that their relationship had been similar to the kind of relationship he and Sasuke had had. Sasuke and he had been rivals, friends, brothers – but did they love each other ? No. At least not romantically. Perhaps that had been different with Kakashi and Obito?

* * *

Meanwhile in the kitchen, Kakashi was sipping his tea, thinking about the previous incident and evaluating its cause and effect.

He smirked. Naruto's reaction to his coming-out had been quite different than he would have imagined. He would have expected the kid to point an accusing finger at him and call him a creepy pervert, but then again, maybe Naruto had matured a little since the last time he made a gay reference in front of him. And maybe he had a secret liking in men himself, since he seemed to have enjoyed the yaoi novel enough to read an entire chapter of it, and since he had said that he hadn't thought that he liked gay porn _either_.

Regardless of Naruto's sexual orientation, it was safe to tell him that he wasn't into women. After all, he already knew the most important parts of his past, and he had shown a very keen interest in getting to know him better. And besides, the kid had a special place in his heart; he probably just didn't know it. So there was nothing wrong with trusting him with information that wasn't really anyone else's concern.

Stupid people and their damned desire to poke their noses into other people's business… At least Naruto was a bit closer to him and could be granted the privilege of learning a new thing or two about him every now and then. Now all he had to do was to somehow prevent Naruto from blurting it out in front of anyone else. Just to make sure that his secrets were safe. While he was quite sure Naruto was not the type to blackmail someone, he also knew that the boy wasn't always the sharpest kunai in the box concerning when to say what, how and to whom.

It wasn't that people would have a problem with him being into men. Homosexuality was far from unheard of in Konoha, but he just liked to keep certain things to himself – not only to maintain his aura of mystery, as it was just part of him, but also because he really wasn't interested in encouraging people's gossiping, although that would always be unpreventable.

Of course the more secretive a person was, the more people would want to try to figure out what they were really like. However, that didn't mean that their assumptions were always true, and what concerned him, they would never really get to know him well anyway unless he deliberately let that happen. He was absolutely confident that he could keep whatever he wanted to himself. So he would let them continue gossiping happily, not that he had ever tried to do anything against it. He didn't even complain about it in front of anyone, because he would never complain about anything in front of anyone. It was just one of those things he didn't do.

People respected his skills, but not everyone liked him, since nobody really knew him, especially some of his shinobi peers, and he was aware of the fact that he was also a subject of gossip.

But honestly, just because he made it seem like he didn't give a rat's ass about what people thought of him didn't mean that it really never annoyed him whenever he heard new rumors involving him spreading out. As if the people weren't gossiping enough. Why couldn't they just keep their pathetic mouths shut?

Their voices were still ringing noisily in his head.

"_I bet Kakashi-san is going out with Mitarashi Anko"; _or_ "Maybe Kakashi-san is Tsunade-sama's boytoy" _or even_ "I'm sure Kakashi-san persuaded Yuugao and now Kurenai into a fling with him, those poor widows_", among other things. As if looking at a person or occasionally speaking with them was reasonable proof for romantic interest. Some people even suspected that he and Iruka, or worse even, _Gai_, had something going on, but apparently they didn't know that the cranky little chuunin really wasn't his type, and that Konoha's Green Beast anyway did not need a partner to confirm his youthful fertility by producing a spandex-wearing heir because it already existed (although sometimes, just sometimes, he did suspect that Gai and Lee shared some genetic material, and he definitely was not the only one to think that their resemblance was beyond uncanny).

He had absolutely been telling Naruto the truth when he had said that he read his porn in public to avoid any involuntary social interaction. He just didn't feel like talking to most people, since the majority was simply annoying.

* * *

When Naruto had finished brushing his teeth, he walked back to the main room and to his futon and tiredly sat down. His head still hurt and so did the large wound on his abdomen. Some more rest would surely do him good.

He heard the kitchen door open and saw Kakashi step into the room with a happy expression on his face. Had he already come up with a punishment? Some form of subtle revenge?

"Don't worry about the book. I left the wet pages open to dry. In a couple of hours it probably won't look so bad anymore. Oh, and if you ever come across it again, feel free to pick it up and read it – just make sure not to have any liquid or food around you while you're at it," Kakashi said in a pleasant voice, giving Naruto a big smile with his eye. He seemed as happy as pie.

Was the guy playing with him again?

"Uh…yeah. I'll make sure not to do it," Naruto replied skeptically and frowned, though he was thankful again for not being the one to initiate another conversation.

"Not to read it again or not to drink or eat while reading?" Kakashi asked just to piss him off a little, he couldn't help it.

"Augh, shut it, sensei!" Naruto muttered indignantly and gave him an angry look, but Kakashi simply raised his hands in an apologetic manner and chuckled.

"I'm sorry, Naruto. I know you had enough trouble this week, me being the main cause for it. But…can I still ask you for a little favor?"

Naruto was startled and showed it. A favor? Whatever would he be asking for?

"Uh, what kind of favor?"

He sure hoped the man wouldn't come up with something nasty.

Kakashi sat down on the bed and smiled with his eye.

"You see, there always is some information one does not necessarily want to share with just everybody. You are one of the very few people whom I have told some very personal things, and I would like to make sure that this stays between us, okay?"

_Huh_, Naruto's darker side almost made him want to get the word out to Sakura that Kakashi was gay and read yaoi the moment he returned to Konoha, but then again, he really wouldn't do such a thing after hearing Kakashi's request to keep this on the down-low, no matter how badly he wanted some payback time after all those aggravating incidents with the man. Naruto refused to be an asshole and would respect Kakashi's wishes. And besides, he actually liked the thought of sharing a secret with his sensei. It meant that he trusted him quite a lot, right? And maybe he would tell him even more about himself eventually!

"Of course, sensei. I won't tell anyone about it if you don't want me to, I promise," he said honestly, and Kakashi caught that look in his eyes that made him smile.

The kid had said it with that innocent sincerity that simply was so typical Naruto. It almost made him regret bugging him so much, even though the boy's reactions had been quite amusing. But maybe Minato-sensei was watching him from above, waiting for him to die so that he could brutally throttle him for messing with his son's head so much. He probably deserved it anyway. Ah, there was his bad conscience. Of course he had one; he just _sometimes_ chose not to obey it, just like any other person.

"Thanks. It's nothing taboo and it wouldn't be a crime if you once let it slip, but try not to mention it. There are some things I only want certain people to know when the time is right. Especially since I don't want to let my 'mysterious aura' dissolve," he said with a chuckle.

Naruto's lips formed a little smile at that.

"I understand," he replied, nodding briefly.

"I'm glad to hear that. Oh and Naruto?" Kakashi added, shifting from his current sitting position on the bed.

"Yeah?" Naruto responded with a questioning look, feeling a shiver travel down his spine from not knowing what his unpredictable sensei would say next.

"I want you to know that if _you_ ever feel like you need to talk about something that's on your mind, you can always tell me, alright? Whatever happens, I'll be there for you. I mean it," he said in a more serious, soothing tone than the one he had used moments ago.

"I know I've been bothering you a lot this week, but please don't take it personally. I trust you, you know, and I hope that you can still trust me too."

Naruto was gazing at the floor. He was genuinely confused at that remark – in fact; it had thrown him off a bit.

Not that it was completely off topic – after all, it was time for Kakashi to be a bit nice again – but it was certainly unexpected, and he couldn't help but find it odd. Was Kakashi up to something?

"Uh... Okay…Thanks, sensei…," he replied in a hesitant voice, watching the silver-haired jounin suddenly stand up and pull a tiny box out of the side pocket of his pants and slowly walk towards him.

He opened the box and Naruto instantly recognized the little bells Kakashi always carried with him.

"I would like you to keep one of these."

Naruto's eyes seemed to get bigger as he stared at the two bells Kakashi was now holding by the strings. He had NOT anticipated the man to come up with such a thing, but the gesture instantly induced a warm feeling within him.

"You…you're really giving me this?" he asked in disbelief, almost as if to make sure the man was serious about his action.

"Obviously," Kakashi chuckled, closing his eye until it resembled the upside-down u-shape. He untied the knot that was holding the two bells together and when he was done, he nodded encouragingly at Naruto to indicate that he should choose a bell until the boy finally took one.

"Wow…thanks, Kakashi-sensei…"

His voice had come out much quieter than he had intended, and he could feel his face turning a ridiculous shade of red.

He remained silent for a few moments, contemplating over what the man had said and done, turning it over in his mind. Although a part of him wanted to seek some sort of vengeance, his heart was telling him that it was okay to forgive Kakashi for being such an ass, and at least now he knew that his sensei took him seriously enough to tell and give him something so personal. He didn't think that he would immediately open up to his sensei, and he especially doubted that Kakashi would immediately open up to him, but these things always happened gradually, didn't they?

He suddenly felt weird, like his emotions were battling each other. Happiness was mingling with anger, confusion and anxiety. He swallowed hard. Why was his throat starting to feel so tight?

Time froze for some moments.

"Is something wrong?" Kakashi suddenly asked in a worried tone when he sensed a disturbance in Naruto's chakra. The boy seemed to be struggling to hold back his emotions. He came closer and kneeled down beside him.

Naruto blinked when he felt Kakashi's arm draped across his shoulders.

"Naruto?"

He took a deep breath and forced himself to relax. Damn it, why did he have to act like an overemotional little girl?

"I'm sorry," he finally said, trying hard to maintain a calm voice. His mouth felt like he had just eaten dust, making him swallow roughly.

"What's wrong?" Kakashi repeated.

When his student didn't reply, he added soothingly, "Come now. How will I know if you don't tell me?"

He still had his arm around the blond boy's shoulders.

Naruto swallowed again and shrugged.

"…It's just that…all my life I've wanted to have someone who I could really trust," he admitted bitterly. His voice came out more like a dry rasp. The prick of anger and also embarrassment merged into a force that had his heart beating faster.

"Sure, there's Iruka-sensei but I don't get to see him very often anymore, and the same goes for Grandma Tsunade, who of course rarely has time for me because of her Hokagely duties. Pervy-Sa..- I mean, Jirayia was someone I could trust, but he's gone… and you…I've always admired you, sensei, and you've always been one of the people who were close to me. Of course I trust you as my teacher, but…" he paused, trying to come up with the right words.

"But…?" Kakashi prodded carefully.

"But," the young shinobi continued, staring at the bell in his hand, "you're really not easy to read and often enough you're about as unpredictable as I am. Sometimes I'm not even sure whether you're even honest towards me. And I just can't stand the idea of people toying with me. I used to hate it when I was a kid, I hate it now and I will probably hate for the rest of my life, because deep inside of me, there still is that horrible feeling of disappointment that has been triggered over and over again when people pretended to care for me or even find the slightest interest in me, when actually they couldn't give a shit about me at all. So I really hope that you're honest about offering to be one of those important people in my life. It would be really unfair otherwise, you know?"

He now looked the silver-haired man directly in the eye.

Without showing it, Kakashi felt a twinge of guilt for acting the way he did around Naruto, who apparently doubted his confidence in him. He sighed inwardly. He should have known Naruto would be more affected by any kind of meanness directed at him than most people, having suffered from it throughout most of his childhood. Of course it would be more difficult for him to truly confide in someone, even if it often seemed like he didn't have any trust issues at all. Kakashi mentally berated himself for not considering this before. He was someone who usually sought to avoid confrontation, but that didn't mean that he never was involved in conflict, or the cause of it, for that matter.

Naruto had spoken in such a genuinely anxious voice that Kakashi himself would almost call it a crime to be dishonest towards his student. He wanted to make up for it. Naruto was right; it really wouldn't be fair otherwise. If it were anyone else, he probably wouldn't have cared as much, but this was Naruto, and with him things were always a bit…different.

He smiled slightly. It didn't make his mask move, but Naruto noticed the softened expression in his eye.

"Naruto," he started, taking the boy's hand that was holding the bell in his, "as your sensei, comrade and friend, I give you my word that what I told you is true. Besides, I let you promise me something today, so yes, it's only fair if I made a promise as well. But it would also be fair if you acknowledged that I'm telling the truth."

Naruto almost timidly glanced at his hand Kakashi was still holding, feeling a wave of reassurance at knowing, or at least feeling that Kakashi had been honest towards him. It was fair, and his intuition was telling him that it was okay to trust him.

"Thanks. It really means a lot to me, sensei."

"I know," Kakashi replied veritably, squeezing the boy's hand lightly.

Naruto smiled brightly. He really did feel a whole lot better, like the wind had blown away thick, dark clouds.

There was this adorable gleam in the boy's eyes and Kakashi had to smile at the sudden drastic change in his student's expression. Of course he knew that Naruto was very fickle, but he would never really get used to his student's overt way of showing his emotions. Probably because it was something he himself could never do. But it was something about Naruto he appreciated a lot. The kid was way more honest than he was and probably would ever be.

He didn't suppress his urge to lightly ruffle the boy's messy hair and when he was sure that he had calmed down he liberated Naruto's hand from his gentle grasp and stood up, intent on taking a warm shower and getting ready for bed. All that talking and of course walking a long ways in the freezing cold had made him tired.

He put the single bell back into the little box and tucked it into his pocket before walking over to the bed to pick up his clothes for the night.

"If you'll excuse me for a while, Naruto," he said and disappeared into the bathroom, closing the door behind him.

Naruto inspected the bell, tracing the metal surface with his fingers.

He would never forget what Kakashi had told his team during the first bell test, and he recalled the two sentences that had proven to have a significant impact on his Nindō.

_Those who abandon the ninja rules are trash. But those who abandon their friends are even worse than trash._

He smiled sadly. He knew that Kakashi took those words seriously. After all, his sensei had never abandoned him when he was in need for help. He had guided him throughout the most rigorous training for the Rasenshuriken. He had always been the one who would catch him when he fell, who would support him and have faith in him when others didn't, and it was he who had consoled him after Sasuke's death.

Kakashi was always there when he needed someone. So it was fair to call him a friend – sure, he was a weird, mysterious, sometimes very annoying friend, but a friend nonetheless. And that was okay, too.

* * *

Kakashi discarded his clothes and inspected his reflection in the mirror. He then took his razor to shave off the small amount of facial hair regrowth since he liked to have a smooth skin beneath his mask, otherwise the itchy feeling would drive him insane.

When he was done, he brushed his teeth and finally stepped into the shower. He turned on the water without letting it touch his skin yet because it would take a few seconds until it was warm enough to enjoy. He didn't mind a cold shower after some hard training or on a hot day, but being exposed to this harsh weather truly made him appreciate spending those few minutes under the warm water and rinsing off the sweat along with the day's events and perhaps his bad conscience.

Slipping his fingers through his wet hair, he immersed in deep thinking as he reflected the previous incident.

He found that he was glad to have had this frank conversation with Naruto. It would definitely do the kid good to know that he could trust another person, and he could relate to that feeling very well. He remembered how wonderful it had felt to know that Minato-sensei had been there for him when he needed someone to be there for him. It hadn't lasted for very long, though, only a few years because he had died so soon. Minato… oh how he missed him. Sometimes he wished he could live in the past instead of the present. The more he looked at Naruto, the more he was reminded of his sensei, and that feeling was sometimes very hard to bear.

Kakashi sighed. He hoped he would be able to be there longer for Naruto than Minato had been there for him. He didn't want him to suffer from another great loss, too well aware of how horrible that sentiment was.

The gladness about being one of the people Naruto trusted was accompanied by a significant amount of guilt. He didn't want Naruto to lose his trust in him, especially after making that promise. It would be difficult for him to keep, though. He had to accredit himself to the fact that he knew how to keep things secret. But what he now shared with Naruto was something he had been trying to avoid throughout most of his life: a bond linking his personal life with someone else. It was like his promise was the medium between him and Naruto, and that could make things quite complicated.

There were some things about him that he didn't _really_ want other people to know about, but there was only one thing he _really_ didn't want Naruto to know about. And he had a bad feeling that the boy would find it out sooner or later, although he had planned to never tell him. But if the topic came up and he lied to him about it, he would break his promise, break Naruto's heart and eventually die a fucking hypocrite.

He stepped out of the shower, letting out a quiet groan of dissatisfaction. He had always enjoyed having his personal freedom, but now he felt trapped. And that feeling was highly uncomfortable.

Deciding to keep calm and not think of the worst case, he stepped out of the shower cabin and dried himself off. He then mentally ran through a quick meditation exercise to help him regain his

sure before getting dressed in his PJs and new sweater.

Five minutes later, feeling refreshed and slightly better, he entered the main room.

Naruto was lying on his side, resting his head on his biceps. He wasn't asleep yet, but he didn't say anything, nor did he look at his sensei as he sat down on his bed.

Kakashi knew Naruto was still awake since the boy's eyes were open.

"I forgot to ask you whether you're feeling any better," he suddenly said.

Naruto didn't look up, but stared at the floor when he answered.

"Better than this morning, yeah. I've still got this stupid headache, though."

There was a shuffling noise and Naruto watched his sensei bend over and dig into his backpack next to the bed.

After a few seconds, he found what he had been looking for.

"I have some pain meds for your headache, if you feel like you need one."

"I'll manage, sensei. I'm sure it'll go away after I slept some more. But thanks anyway,"

"Are you sure you don't want any dinner?"

Naruto shook his head.

"I'm not really hungry," his voice said with a slur.

"Alright. You look tired. Try to sleep now, if you need anything, let me know."

After wishing one another a good night, Naruto slumped against his futon and could already feel his eyelids droop.

The exhaustion was consuming him and a part of him wanted to sink into the silence and sleep, but there were still a hundred thoughts racing through his fluffy mind, all of them revolving around Kakashi. He was torn between believing him and not believing him, and that was practically driving him nuts. He hated that certain degree of uncertainty, and he would have to talk to Kakashi more to find out whether he could really trust him. Everyone was capable of lying, even, or especially when trying to make people feel better. And apart from that, he really wanted Kakashi to let more cats out of the bag. Things were getting even more interesting the more he thought about it. One part of him wanted to find out now, but the other part didn't know how to ask without sounding silly.

The minutes ticked by and hours passed, but Naruto could only sleep on and off. The pressure in his head was constantly decreasing and increasing and after a while, he couldn't stand it anymore and he kicked off his blanket as quietly as possible and silently tiptoed out of the room. At home, he was used to going to the kitchen when he had a restless night, so his feet led him to the small chair at the table in the kitchen, where he reached for the lighter and lit a candle so he would be able to see something.

The teapot was still there and feeling quite thirsty, he poured some tea into the cup, though the liquid was quite cold now. He noticed the open book on the other side of the table. "_Hard feelings_" – Naruto inwardly snorted at the title's sexual innuendo to which he had not paid closer attention when he had first held the book in his hands.

The pages were already dry, and thankfully, they didn't even look that ruined. The ink was slightly bleached on some parts, but he could still read the writing well enough, although he had silently vowed that he would never be that desperate to do so, under certain circumstances. Then again… the worst had already happened and Kakashi had told him it was okay if he read it, even though he technically wasn't allowed to read adult literature since he was still a few months shy from 18. But it seemed that Kakashi didn't always care about rules and regulations, and maybe he was only trying to be nice.

He closed the book and put it down, and buried his pounding head between his arms, letting out a small moan in pain as he exhaled. His temples were stinging and he knew his body needed some more rest, but his mind was preventing him from getting it.

"Can't sleep?"

Kakashi's voice ripped into his thoughts and he instinctively looked at the man who managed to sneak inaudibly into the kitchen. He was leaning against the wall the door with his hands in his pockets.

"Oh…Kakashi-sensei. What's up?"

"You are. Are you alright?"

Naruto frowned but didn't answer. Not that he didn't want to, but his brain seemed to have swallowed the reply. He unconsciously touched his temples and slouched even more in his chair.

"Still got a headache?"

"Yeah," Naruto then stated quietly and could hear Kakashi come nearer, and see him putting a white pill next to Naruto's hand on the table.

"You really should take one," he insisted.

Knowing that it was for his own good, Naruto obeyed and put the pill in his mouth with a big sip of tea.

"Thanks. I'm sorry I woke you up," he said after drinking the rest of his tea.

"It's alright. I'm used to it. I'm a light sleeper and therefore hear nearly everything. It often comes in handy on missions, letting me investigate faster when I feel something is wrong."

"Huh." Naruto grunted, feeling a bit guilty though. He knew how he hated it when someone woke him from his sleep.

"Kakashi-sensei? Can I ask you something?"

"You just did." Kakashi grinned a cocky grin and sat down on the chair beside Naruto.

"But yeah, go ahead," he assented.

"Uh..I wanted to ask you earlier this evening, but…Why do you read hentai or yuri when you're not into girls?" he said, trying to sound confident.

He had posed the question out of sheer curiosity, and his mind was too fuzzy to censor the thoughts he was having all this time. But Kakashi had told him that he would be there if Naruto wanted to talk, so why not use this opportunity and find out more interesting info about the guy?

Kakashi shrugged.

"I don't mind reading about them; I just don't desire women for myself. You don't have to completely avoid something you're normally not attracted to."

"Huh."

Naruto sat back with a pensive expression. He honestly had not given that a second thought. But Kakashi had a point, and he couldn't argue with that. Did it make him gay if he read gay porn?

The indecent images of the scene in the book crept up on him. He had liked it. But would he ever desire a man for himself one day? Actually, not counting his former childish infatuation with Sakura, he had never truly desired anyone, regardless of their gender. Sure, he knew how to spot an attractive person, but that didn't mean that he would be in love with them, right?

"Uhm...when did you find out?"

'_Aren't we curious tonight, Naruto'_

Kakashi had to chuckle at the boy's open interest in the matter. Maybe Naruto was starting to question his own sexuality after all.

"Well...I was 13," he said neutrally.

Yes! He had actually succeeded in making the guy talk!

"Did...did he like you back?"

Kakashi closed his eye and suppressed a sigh.

"I don't really know. Yes. But he it was hard for him to handle and accept. Harder for him than for me, actually."

Naruto looked up. Was there a bit of self-loathing in Kakashi's voice?

"How long have you been together?"

"Hmm...it's hard to say. He had been in my life since I was very young. But we didn't have a typical relationship."

It seemed unnatural to be talking about this. He almost felt like Naruto had managed to hypnotize him, but then again, it was he himself who decided what to say.

It seemed unnatural to be talking about this. Naruto almost felt like he was invading Kakashi's privacy, but then again, it was Kakashi who decided what to say.

"What do you mean?"

Kakashi closed his eye. This was going to be tricky.

"How to put it...," he started, trying to find the right words.

"Have you ever truly been in love with someone?, Naruto? I don't mean infatuation, or platonic friendship. I mean love."

"No," he replied slowly.

"While it can be a wonderful feeling, it can sometimes also destroy you on the inside, and sometimes even others. Love is...complicated," Kakashi mused calmly, tilting his head to the side to look at Naruto.

There was a long pause, and both shinobi sensed the tension building up.

"Of course, sometimes, these things can go smoothly," Kakashi suddenly continued, "but for me, they didn't. Eventually, I realized that it didn't work for me."

The intonation of the last sentence made it sound like it was an afterthought.

"But why did you never give love a second chance?" Naruto asked, almost damning his curiosity. He hoped he wasn't bothering Kakashi too much with it.

"I refused to experience that pain another time. And since I try to keep my promises to others, I didn't see why I shouldn't keep the promises I make to myself."

"Yeah but when something bad happens on a mission, you don't stop going on missions either."

Kakashi arched an eyebrow, and Naruto immediately mentally kicked himself for saying something so stupid. He was in no position to act like he could give Kakashi a great piece of advice when he was nothing but an immature teenager.

"I'm sorry Kakashi-sensei! I didn't mean-"

"It's alright, Naruto," Kakashi cut him off and smiled. He actually appreciated Naruto's concern. The kid always tried to help.

"Do you...do you regret it? I mean, making that experience," Naruto slowly said.

_Now that's a very insightful question..._

"Well... it's hard to say. I didn't regret it back then, but I do now. I understand why the man I loved didn't want this relationship to be established in the first place."

There was another long pause, and he turned his head to look at Naruto again, whose expression was something between concerned, confused and curious. He could even sense a tad of guilt radiating from the boy, probably for invading his privacy.

"I know what you want to know next," he smiled.

Naruto's eyes widened and he felt weird.

"Uhm.."

"You want to know who I've been in a relationship with."

Naruto began to stammer.

"I...well you don't have to tell me if you don't want to! It's probably none of my business anyway...geez, I'm feeling like an idiot all over...I'm sorry sensei!"

Kakashi shook his head.

"No, it's okay, Naruto. If you remember what I have promised you earlier, I think it would actually be the right time to proove that I meant it. I can tell you, but I must warn you in advance. You won't like it."

Naruto didn't answer, but his bright blue eyes anticipatingly met his gaze. He closed his lone eye for a moment and took a deep breath.

_I hope you won't hate me for this._

"I used to have an affair with your father."

...

..

.

"_What_?"

Cold sweat was escaping his pores. Within seconds, he felt like he was bathing in ice, and he could just about hear the blood racing through his body. His heart was beating so hard in his chest that he thought it might explode.

"Y-Your telling me the truth, right?" he asked in a faint voice of disbelief. He just couldn't believe the words that had reached his ears.

Kakashi confirmed his confession with a brief nod.

**No. Way.**

**No. Fucking. Way.**

He didn't know what to say. He didn't know what say. He did not fucking know what to say.

Kakashi eyed him worriedly, but retained his stoic posture, waiting for Naruto to calm down.

"I'm sorry to have shocked you like that."

"D-did my mom find out about it?" Naruto finally said when he was sure that his voice was strong enough.

"I don't know. I don't even know whether she ever suspected anything. Your father did his best to keep it a secret, or it would have ruined his relationship with your mother. Especially when she was pregnant with you. I would have ruined their marriage."

Kakashi felt like a filthy piece of shit, but couldn't show it. He hoped Naruto would at least sense his guilt.

Naruto shifted uncomfortably in his chair.

"I knew all along that I was interfering in their relationship. Your parents' love was one of a kind, and I was well aware of the fact that I was in the way. But...I just loved Minato. He was the only person I had after my father's death and the loss of my comrades, and he...well, I developed irrational sentiments for him."

Naruto eyed him attentively, trying to process everything he said.

Kakashi-sensei had been with _his_ father. That possibility had **never **even crossed his mind, and that had been what shocked him. It was just too hard to believe.

"I can't believe you told me...," he quietly said.

"I felt that you needed to know, if we are to be more honest to one another," Kakashi almost whispered back.

There it was. The pain. Kakashi didn't hide it anymore.

So now he understood why his sensei tried his best to keep things secret. Now he understood why it was hard for him to engage in any social relationships. Now he understood how deeply scarred the jounin was.

Silence.

"You're actually the first person whom I have told all of this."

Naruto let out a faint smile.

"I believe you."


	7. Poker face

After a while the silence was so loud it was almost deafening, but neither Kakashi nor Naruto could think of a suitable thing to say.

Kakashi debated whether or not to go into detail, since he wasn't sure whether Naruto wanted to hear more, even though there would still be a lot more to say. Of course it was obvious that the boy was overwhelmed by what he had just heard, but at least he had confirmed that he believed what he had been told. Kakashi had the feeling that he had finally gained Naruto's trust, and that was the most important thing for both of them – for Naruto because now he knew that Kakashi was more human than he usually pretended to be, and for Kakashi because now he could feel more human than he usually pretended to be.

_"You're not a machine, Kakashi. Please stop acting like one," _Minato had told him ever so often. It was easier said than done, though, and this was the first time in years that Kakashi had let out something he had been guarding like a watchdog for more than a decade. He hadn't thought that getting it off his chest would make him feel better when it had the potential to make him feel even worse. But now he realized that it wasn't bad to talk to someone about it. Even if it was his former lover's son.

Naruto sat there, rigid with tension, and was staring at the far edge of the table, nervously clenching and unclenching his fists in his lap. His head was pounding and a hollow pain was spreading in his stomach. All this excitement had made him feel sick. Aside from being shocking as fuck, Kakashi's revelation served as an uncomfortable reminder of just how much he didn't know about the man, and that was frustrating– knowing someone, but hardly knowing anything about them.

It was funny, in a way. Lots of people were always saying how they felt like they have known each other for years after only being acquainted for a while, but what concerned Kakashi, Naruto had known nothing about his sensei at all. Nothing. All these years, talking to Kakashi had been like talking to a stranger. Naruto had a similar feeling towards his father, although he never really got to know him. He did have this vision of him in his head, the image of a strong, courageous, loyal man, but what was he really like? Was he perhaps even as secretive as Kakashi?

Naruto ran a shaky hand through his hair and swallowed several times until he finally snapped out of his stunned state. Gnawing on his lip, he considered finding out more about Kakashi's past, but he didn't want to sound like a nosy little idiot. Would it be fair to ask what Kakashi might not want to share? He was now more curious than ever, and he found that he really deserved to learn more about Kakashi's past. So he decided to at least try to get a little farther.

"Kakashi-sensei...?" Naruto's said hesitantly as he tore his eyes off the table and turned his glance towards the jounin who noticed the flash of uncertainty in his student's eyes.

"Yeah?"

"Thank you. For telling me. I would have never imagined that we would one day be talking about something so personal. I really appreciate that you trust me enough to share all this information with me and...I'd like to be the person you can tell anything, and I swear I won't tell another soul anything you told me."

Kakashi felt a faint smile crease his lips.

"I'm glad you took it rather well. I know this must be a great shock for you, and you might find it even harder to accept once you've let it sink in properly. I wouldn't blame you though. Just…please don't judge me for my choices if you don't understand my reasons. I never intended to purposely hurt either of your parents," he replied in a somewhat tortured voice.

Naruto shook his head. "No."

"No?" Kakashi questioned, raising an eyebrow in confusion. It was okay if Naruto didn't understand it yet, but he hoped that one day he would. Patience was a virtue, and he had plenty of that.

"I mean, no, of course I don't think you did it on purpose! I understand that there are some things one probably just cannot prevent from happening. Even if I haven't experienced anything like that myself."

Kakashi looked straight into those bright eyes that reflected his own gratitude.

"Thank you, Naruto."

Awkward silence.

Naruto bit the inside of his cheek contemplatively. What could he say to fix that?

'_Well, for starters, you could go and ask what you wanted to ask,_' he reminded himself.

By the look in the boy's eyes, Kakashi knew something was coming.

"Uhm…there's just one thing I'd like to know..," Naruto started carefully.

"Yes?"

In a slow and cautious voice, Naruto continued, "I… I'm just curious… how come my dad cheated on my mom? I mean, I always imagined him to be a loyal person – but if he was loyal to the leaf village, how come he wasn't that loyal to my mom?"

He wasn't thrown off by the question, since it was clear that Naruto would want to know more about his father. It was almost reassuring, in a way. At least it didn't appear like he found it all so awkward that he didn't want to deal with it at all. In fact, Naruto didn't seem to mind carrying on the conversation with him, and he didn't mind carrying on the conversation with Naruto.

"In retrospect, that is something I've been asking myself a lot," he murmured, tilting his head back thoughtfully.

"Honestly, I don't know why he gave in, even if he felt sorry for me. I'm sure he didn't really want to, and he kept reminding me of that, but… for some reason, he still kept meeting me in secret. You see, we shared a very tight bond and I know he wanted to make me feel loved after I had lost everyone close to me. I already told you about the death of my father and the tragic incident with Obito. But I didn't mention what exactly happened to my other team-mate, Rin."

Kakashi had tried to speak in his usual matter-of-fact kind of voice, but Naruto could easily hear the pain in his tone.

The silver-haired man glanced up at the ceiling, half-closing his eye and inhaling sharply.

"I killed her. That's why I understand how you felt about Sasuke's death. I know what it's like to let someone dear to you die at your own hands. It was a terrible accident when I rammed a raikiri into her chest. When the realization hit me that I had killed my only remaining teammate, I nearly lost it. I attempted suicide a week later, and if it hadn't been for Minato who found and stopped me just before it was too late, I don't think I'd even be here now, although for a long time I thought that it wouldn't matter anyway if I were dead."

Naruto held his breath in shock, just barely keeping his mouth from falling open. Kakashi had killed his last teammate? And had tried to commit suicide? Just how much pain had his sensei gone through?

"I looked up to Minato like a son would look up to his parent, but as I have already told you, my love for him as a father-figure developed into something else. I didn't want to accept these feelings at first, but I couldn't help it. And your father… I really don't know why he started seeing me as something other than a student, or a son. Especially since he was with Kushina."

"So he never explained why he did it?" Naruto asked carefully with concerned curiosity.

Kakashi shook his head slowly.

"No. To be honest, I never asked. I think I didn't even want to know. You see, your mother was… she was a wonderful woman and I tried to like her, but I couldn't, because at the same time I had this irrational hate for her, due to being so jealous of her. No matter how much I loved Minato, I knew that he would always love her more, and that she was meant to be with him. He probably just pitied me so much since I was seriously depressed. The only things that kept me sane enough to live was the thought that your father was there for me."

He looked off to the side away from Naruto and went on.

"But I was also being an egoistic fool, and I was well aware of that. I could barely stand Kushina's presence anymore, and when I found out that she was pregnant… I felt so bitter. Because it was the most obvious reminder that Minato was not supposed to be with me. I was glad that your father made me an ANBU trainee by then, because that was the only thing that could help me keep my mind off. As an ANBU, you have to stay focused all the time and concentrate on the mission. That's why your father made me join the black ops. He was very busy as Hokage, he had your mother to take care of, and I…I would always be in the way…"

He paused to take a generous breath in order to reestablish his composure. His eyes were stinging a little and he could feel his heart beating wildly in his chest. Naruto gave him a sympathetic look and silently waited for him to continue.

"However, after most missions, we would meet in secret, talk a lot and …well, you can imagine what would usually happen next."

Naruto wasn't sure he wanted to imagine what would happen next, and Kakashi noticed the uncomfortable look in his eyes which made him consider ending this conversation for Naruto's sake, until the boy's eyes told him it was okay to go on.

"For a long time, neither of us was strong enough to end this relationship, until a few weeks before you were born. On my own birthday, actually. Your father and I talked for hours and I was so devastated when he warned me that this had to stop, even though I had been expecting it to happen all the time in the back of my mind. I just didn't want to accept it, although every reasonable part of my mind was telling me to do so. I was so angry and hardly spoke to him at all after that, except when he assigned me a mission. Sometimes I was convinced that I never wanted to talk to him again. But when he died I…I felt like my heart died with him."

He looked down and stopped talking in order to swallow down the lump in his throat. Feeling his eyes tingle with moisture, he took a deep breath and in a somber voice he continued to speak.

"Everything I had was lost, the most important person in my life was gone…and the only thing that was left of him was you. I actually felt like it was my duty to adopt and take care of you," he said softly as he turned back to Naruto, giving him a sad smile.

"But I was only 14 back then, and the Third Hokage refused to let me raise you. His strongest argument was that he needed me as an active shinobi since so many were killed during the attack of the Kyuubi, and that's how I pretty much lost track of what happened to you until you enrolled the academy. I was on duty nearly all the time and I think the Third assigned me mission after mission because otherwise, I would have probably gone mad. I almost attempted suicide again a few days after your father died."

This time Naruto's mouth did fall open a bit. He felt sorrier for his sensei than he ever had in his life. The fact that Kakashi couldn't be with the man he loved must have been frustrating enough, but he also had to cope with the loss of everyone of importance to him. He must have felt cursed. His past sounded so horribly tragic and he could feel a painful twinge in his chest. It even hurt him when he realized that Kakashi had wanted to adopt him. It made him wonder how his life would have turned out if he had lived with Kakashi from the beginning, to have someone who would have taken care of him. But he also understood the Hokage's decision of denying his request.

"I…I had no idea…I'm so sorry, I don't know what else to say, Kakashi-sensei," he said in a faint voice, raising his hand to wipe away the tears than had rolled down his cheeks.

"Well…it's over. Although it is hard to get over," Kakashi admitted and stood up, pushing the chair back towards the table. Naruto mimicked the action and faced his sensei who appeared to still have something to say.

"It took quite some time until I realized that I needed to stay alive to at least be a useful shinobi who would protect the village and pass on the message that it is essential to look after your comrades, no matter what. These life-changing incidents taught me a valuable lesson I'd like to pass on to you, Naruto: Don't be afraid of making mistakes. Be afraid of not learning from them."

Naruto looked at him and wordlessly nodded, his mind processing everything his sensei had said.

"I believe everything happens for a reason," he went on. "I feel that it was meant to be that I had such a close relationship with your father because it was he who saved me. He showed me how important it is to never give up, even if I still am not always the most determined person, unlike you," Kakashi said with a little smile that Naruto could only recognize from the soft expression in his visible eye.

Naruto could feel a sad smile touch upon his own lips.

"I think you're right, sensei, that some things are meant to be. I mean, I'm not sure whether I believe that everything that happens is caused by some higher entity or something, but I do believe that it is up to every person to deal with certain incidents and not just give up, and to find out what is important for them. Life would be really pointless otherwise, wouldn't it?" Naruto pointed out, and Kakashi had to smile at that, sensing the air of maturity that radiated from the boy.

"I hate the idea of giving up. When I was a kid, I kept telling myself that I was done with everything, but then I always found myself trying again. I found a goal that made my life worth living. And you… you said that after the attack of the Kyuubi, you really understood what your purpose was – to pass on the importance of teamwork and comradeship, and I believe that this is one of the most crucial things every shinobi should learn. It was the first real lesson you taught me, and I will never forget it. So please don't ever think that your life is pointless again, sensei," Naruto said, his voice almost dying, and he stepped closer to the silver-haired man and pulled him in a strong embrace.

Kakashi's eye widened in surprise and a confused hum almost escaped him. He really wasn't used to being hugged and he would not have initiated the embrace, but he realized he was more than glad Naruto did. The gesture was so utterly endearing and heart-warming, and he reciprocated, gently wrapping his arms around the lithe boy's back. Naruto's body was soft and warm and he instinctively pulled him closer, like his own body was in dire need of the contact, which it probably was. So he simply let himself relax against Naruto.

It was amazing what effect a hug could have on a person. Especially when they thought to be fucked for life, and yet, someone seemed to show understanding for what they have done.

Knowing that the kid was so open and understanding and nonjudgmental made his heart seem like it had lost half of its weight, it felt so ridiculously light in his chest. A wave of mutual reassurance seemed to emanate from their bodies, and he wouldn't mind staying like this for a few moments.

Naruto was glad Kakashi didn't flinch, even if the guy might find it weird to be hugged. But honestly he didn't care. He just silently clung to his sensei, trying to offer some kind of comfort and to show him that it really meant a lot to him that Kakashi had told him all this. He wanted the man to know how much he appreciated his honesty.

The seconds were ticking by slowly. It felt good to hug Kakashi, but after a while the silence was starting to get awkward, and he slowly let go of the taller man and sheepishly took a hesitant step back. He bit his bottom lip lightly.

Kakashi smiled softly at the affectionate teen.

"Perhaps it was meant to be that your father loved Kushina, because otherwise, you would have never been born. You know life is worth the struggle when you look back on what you lost and realize that what you have now is much greater, and I honestly cannot imagine life without you anymore, Naruto. You really are a very special person, and I am so proud to be your sensei, and more than grateful to have you as a friend. I really am."

Naruto's lips creased into a big, sincere smile.

_Friend_. Kakashi-sensei thought of him as a real friend. It almost seemed surreal to hear that. Yes, he had already mentioned it earlier that evening, but only now did the realization entirely sink in, and he was overcome with happiness so sudden and strong, it was spreading inside his chest as a delightful warmth. However, he somehow felt guilty for being so happy, when he had made Kakashi bring back bad memories he had been keeping to himself for such a long time.

He averted his gaze from him and turned it to the floor instead.

"Thanks, Kakashi-sensei," he said quietly. His throat was too tight to produce a stronger utterance. He felt much worn out and wanted to yawn but managed to suppress it.

Kakashi took a deep breath and scratched his head. He noticed his student's fatigue and feeling exhausted himself, he said,

"It's really late. Let's go back to sleep, hm?"

"Yeah, okay," Naruto mumbled tiredly as Kakashi blew out the candle. He then followed the silver-haired man to the main room.

Kakashi settled down on the bed, the blond lay on his futon, trying to get comfortable.

"Sensei?" Naruto suddenly asked.

"Yeah?"

"Are…are you okay?"

Kakashi smiled and let out a light chuckle.

"I am, thank you."

Was he really alright? Oh yes. In fact, he felt better than he had in a very long time. Telling Naruto the truth turned out to definitely be the right thing to do, despite his strong doubts he used to have.

"Okay," the teen murmured tiredly as his eyelids drooped.

"Sleep well, Naruto."

"You too, Kakashi-sensei. Good night."

Kakashi closed his eyes, but he didn't fall asleep just yet. His mind was still trying to digest the day's events.

_Everything happened for a reason_. That was what he had learned to believe. And perhaps it was meant to be that he told Naruto that one thing he had planned on keeping to himself for the rest of his life. From now on they could trust one another – they were friends. Real friends. A smile touched upon his lips. For years he felt lonely and sick and empty and he knew he deserved it. Now this feeling was beginning to dissolve. The way Naruto could play such an impact on people's lives never ceased to amaze. He truly had a gift. He could make friends so easily, and he was the only person since Minato who managed to make him open up.

_Naruto…what a wonderful person you are._

He turned to his side and pulled the blanket over his body, and he let the contented feeling in his heart lull him to sleep.

* * *

Kakashi was the first to wake up the next morning. He had slept surprisingly well, despite or perhaps because of yesterday's conversation. Peeking out of the window, he was glad to see that the sky was clear. He just hoped there wouldn't be a snowstorm today when Naruto and he went out. He didn't really feel like going out. He didn't really feel like doing much of anything other than staying indoors and hugging the fire. Not that it was that warm inside the cottage, but in comparison to the weather outside, it was rather pleasant. Still, he missed his snug little bed at home and really wanted to get back to Konoha. Which was why they would have to leave the cottage to retrieve the bodies and carry them to the snow village HQ, and preferably return before it got dark. So the sooner they started their day, the better.

He yawned silently and rolled his shoulders back to loosen the tense muscles in his back. He then stretched his arms further until he could hear the cracking sound of his joints. It was one of those things he found disturbing and at the same time pleasurable. Well, he did have a liking for strange things.

He lazily rolled out of bed and eyed Naruto. The boy was sleeping peacefully, sprawled out on his futon in a position that looked horribly uncomfortable. His hair was even messier than usual and he looked so much younger, like his 12 year-old self. Kakashi smiled fondly. When Naruto was a kid he looked absolutely adorable, like a mischievous little fox. Over the past two years, his face had lost its baby fat and it became more angular, but his features were still soft, almost feminine, and the whisker marks on his cheeks just made his face look even cuter.

He would have stood there even longer and watch Naruto sleep (was he being creepy again?), but his stomach interjected loudly, reminding him that he hadn't eaten anything since…quite a while ago, and he was looking forward to filling his empty stomach.

After brushing his teeth and getting dressed, he paced back to the main room. Naruto was now lying on his side with his lower body oddly twisted, but he appeared to still be fast asleep. He had always been a deep sleeper, but it was not surprising that he would be dead-tired after all that excitement. Not to mention he had been injured and had gotten a cold, which had hopefully gotten better.

He quietly walked past Naruto and into the kitchen where he first boiled some water for the tea and warmed up the leftover rice. A few minutes later he fried two eggs and soon helped himself with a portion and he left the other one for Naruto.

When he was finished eating his food, he moved to get up from his chair and left the kitchen to wake his sleeping student.

"Naruto," he called.

When he didn't react, Kakashi crouched down next to him and gently shook the boy's shoulder.

"Naruto," he tried again, this time getting a grunted "Huh?" as a response. A few seconds later, Naruto groaned and let go of the blanket he was tightly hugging to himself, and rubbed his eyes with his hands. Then he blinked to meet the silver-haired man's gaze.

"Hey, sensei," he slurred and slowly sat up.

"Yo, Naruto. I made you some breakfast. I just have to fry the eggs, so tell me when you're ready," he informed, pacing to the kitchen.

"Uh in 10 minutes or so, I guess. Thanks."

He coughed and cleared his throat as he got up and made his way to the bathroom, this time bringing his clothes along.

He figured his wounds must have been healed by now, so he carefully opened the bandages, glad to see that his skin tissue had almost completely regenerated itself so quickly, even though he was used to it. One more day and he'd be as good as new.

After freshening up, he walked to the kitchen where Kakashi was frying some eggs.

"Food is ready right…now," Kakashi declared in a cheerful manner as he shoved the eggs on the rice and handed Naruto the bowl along with a pair of chopsticks.

"Whoa I'm starving. Thanks for making breakfast, sensei," he replied, lacing his fingers behind his head and not bothering to pull out a chair and sit down, since he didn't mind eating whilst standing.

"Enjoy your meal. I already had mine," Kakashi said, smiling with his eye.

"Why am I not surprised?" Naruto replied sarcastically, referring to the fact that his sensei usually ate before he did so that the chance of getting a glimpse of his face would be below zero.

Chuckling, Kakashi shifted his weight on his right leg and put his hands in the pockets of his pants.

"Anyway, are you feeling well enough? I had in mind that we return the bodies to the ninja HQ today. If all goes well, we might be able to head back to the leaf village before the end of the week. I already sent Pakkun to deliver the news of what had happened to you to Lady Tsunade."

Naruto just nodded in response because his mouth was still full of rice. He swallowed his bite and answered, "Yeah, I'm feeling much better. I just seriously need some fresh air. So yeah, let's go as soon as I've finished having breakfast."

He looked and sounded happy, for which Kakashi was glad.

"That's good to hear. I'll wait in the other room until you're done, if that's okay for you."

"No problem. Have fun reading your book, sensei."

"Mah, you know me too well," Kakashi chirped, and they both snickered at that. Naruto watched the tall man walk out of the room, and reaching out to pour a cup of tea.

He smiled. The air between his sensei and him had always been so stiff, like there was some invisible wall between them, but that seemed to have disappeared. It didn't feel so awkward to be around him anymore, and it was okay if he wanted to read in the other room. He respected him and whatever he wanted to do, and he was so pleased that Kakashi was opening up to him. It was just something he had to get used to, and he was looking forward to it.

When he had finished having his meal, he rinsed the empty bowl and put it next to Kakashi's bowl in the sink. They would do the proper washing-up later.

He left the kitchen and entered the main room. Kakashi waved a hand lazily and closed his book.

Five minutes later, they were fully dressed and ready to leave. Kakashi locked the door, and both shinobi wordlessly left the cottage.

Kakashi took a deep breath of fresh air and tilted his head to the side, squinting his eye. It was a beautiful day, but the light was reflected so strongly in the glittering snow, it was almost blinding. Glancing at Naruto, he noticed that the boy was facing the same problem. Oh well, their eyes would adapt to the brightness in a while.

It would take them at least twenty minutes to reach the forest and Naruto wasn't about to walk all in silence.

"Maaaan it's f-f-_freezing_!" he managed to say through violently chattering teeth.

He knew it was pretty lame to start a conversation by commenting on the weather, but he couldn't think of anything less inane and more interesting to talk about at the moment.

"I know. But we'll warm up as we walk," Kakashi said, silently agreeing with Naruto. It really was detestably cold, even though they were well-equipped with warmer clothes than the ones they usually wore. Naruto had forgotten his scarf, but it probably wouldn't make that much of a difference if he wore it.

"I guess I underestimated it when Grandma Tsunade told me that most shinobi rather not be sent to such a cold place!"

Kakashi chuckled.

"Well, now you know that she wasn't joking when she told you that the ANBU primarily get the missions regular ninjas would rather not do. She was trying to be nice and warn you in advance."

"It was worth the experience," Naruto said thoughtfully. "Imagine living here though! Sure, it's something you can get used to it, but still; I wouldn't want to spend the rest of my life in such a cold place. I'm glad it's warmer in Konoha. I can't wait to get back home, to be honest," he continued, laughing sheepishly.

"I know what you mean. I also prefer the mild temperatures of Konoha. But ANBU or not, being exposed to uncomfortable weather conditions is just part of the job. Remember our mission to the Land of the Moon?"

"Yeah! Oh my Gods, it was so hot there! I mean, in Suna it's also really hot, but at least the air isn't humid. Humidity and heat ought to be the worst combination!"

"True," Kakashi agreed. He couldn't help but find it amusing how they were having such carefree small talk about something as mundane as the weather after yesterday's revelations.

"Hey, sensei?" Naruto's voice interrupted his thoughts.

"Mh?"

"If you had to leave the Land of Fire forever and were able to travel to any other country, where would you go and why?"

Kakashi let out a pensive hum as he thought of an answer.

"I don't know. It would probably depend on several factors, like the political situation around the world and within the countries. But if everything were fine and I just had to leave Konoha, for whatever reason… I might perhaps consider living in the Land of Waves. No shinobi business anymore. That could be nice," he mused. "Every country has its own beauty, so I don't have any particular vegetation in mind. What about you?"

"I don't know. Well, I would definitely not want to move to the Land of Snow... Perhaps...Suna. If Gaara were there. I just would want to feel like I have a home, and that could be anywhere, as long as there are people who will be thinking of me. If I'd be in a foreign country forever and had to leave all my friends behind…that would be sad…."

Kakashi had to smile at that. Naruto's friends were among his top-priorities, and even if he could find new friends easily, he would never forget his old ones. And they ought to never forget him. Then again, how could one forget a person like Naruto?

"I wonder what it's like for civilians, though. I mean, compared to us their lives must be pretty boring," the blond teen said.

"Well, their stress-levels are probably not as high as ours," Kakashi chuckled. "But people perceive everything differently. What would seem harmless to us might seem extremely dangerous to them, and they might not want to experience that."

"Yeah, I guess. But they don't really know what exactly it is that we do, unless they've got shinobi in their families or among their friends or so. They probably have a basic idea of what we do, but they don't know any details – kinda like regular ninja don't really know what the ANBU do…," Naruto laughed, remembering the incentive that made him go to Tsunade to find out what the ANBU did.

They were now walking through the forest. It would take them roughly thirty minutes until they reach their destination.

"Kakashi-sensei?" Naruto suddenly asked.

"Yeah?"

"Can you imagine not being a ninja?"

That was an interesting question...

"Uh…it would definitely be a great change. After all, it has been my profession for more than two decades. But I could imagine living as a civilian, to be honest. It might even be quite a comfortable life."

"Heh, what would you do for a living, then?" Naruto inquired curiously.

"Mh…most probably something with dogs. Train them, or run a dog shelter. Or both."

Naruto grinned at the mental image of his sensei in civilian clothes, lying in a shady spot in the garden attached to a little house, holding a book in his one hand and petting a big brown dog with his other one.

"Did you actually train your ninken yourself?" he asked.

"The younger ones – Guruko, Bisuke and Uuhei. My father trained the older dogs. He got Pakkun before I was born."

"Whoa, he's _that old_?"

"Naruto, did you just imply that _I'm_ _old_?" Kakashi said in a mock-hurt voice.

"I actually didn't imply anything, but now that you mention it, you _are_ quite the ancient hack!" Naruto shrugged, and they both laughed.

"Animals used for the summoning jutsu usually reach a very high age. You might know this from your toad summons."

"Yeah…heh, I just never really gave it much thought. So…is Pakkun your eldest dog?"

"No, that would be Bull. He must be around 40, I think. But I usually summon Pakkun for missions, so he's the most experienced one."

"What about the other dogs?"

"Well, I train with them when I have the time. They need to develop sufficient skills for tracking. But they all have a good sense of smell, so it's not that hard for them. Bisuke is the only one I'm a bit worried about, since he's more interested in finding cozy places to sleep instead of working, the lazy little bugger. I just usually summon him for company rather than for missions. I think he prefers that anyway," Kakashi chuckled.

"I don't know any of your dogs that well, except Pakkun. Is Bisuke the little light brown one?" Naruto asked.

"Yes. Actually it's time you got to know them properly. Just give them some treats, and they'll love you forever."

Naruto smiled brightly. He was looking forward to getting to know Kakashi's ninken. He loved dogs. Kiba was lucky for having Akamaru – that guy was so cool and big and fluffy, and Pakkun was really smart, though also pretty grouchy. He wondered what Kakashi's other dogs were like.

"Hey, we're almost there!" he noted and sped up his pace. The corpses had been neatly placed next to each other, and there was some kind of fence made from ninja wire around them.

"Careful now, don't touch the wire yet," Kakashi warned and walked towards Naruto. "I surged a notable amount of electricity into it to keep others from stealing the bodies."

He held up his hand and let the electricity transform back into chakra. He then put the ninja wire aside and stepped towards the bodies.

"Alright, we'll each carry one," he announced, pulling the largest man towards him. Even if Naruto claimed to feel fine, he didn't want the boy to necessarily strain himself too much, so he wouldn't mind carrying the heaviest man.

Naruto cringed in disgust.

"Ewwww, imagine the stench if they hadn't been out in the cold. I mean, they do smell funny, but one could expect worse," Naruto said as he hoisted the stiff body over his shoulder. Walking around with what felt like a tree log would definitely become uncomfortable.

"Too right you are. Have you ever been in the autopsy department of the hospital?" Kakashi asked and used the same technique as before to keep the remaining bodies in place.

"No, but Sakura told me it's really disgusting. Apparently they have to use so much disinfectant that one cannot tell what smells worse – the dead bodies or the disinfectant."

"She's right, you know," Kakashi chuckled idly as he recalled the countless times he was summoned to the notorious hall of stench. He picked up the corpse and started to lead the way with Naruto by his side.

The walk out of the forest was mostly spent in a companionable silence, not an uncomfortable one.

After some time, they were finally descending the hill and could already see the larger buildings of Yukigakure.

"We're almost there," Kakashi declared. "Let's take a short break and then head to the HQ in one go."

"Okay," Naruto nodded and carelessly dropped the corpse to the ground. Kakashi laid the body he had been carrying next to the other one and sat down next to the blond teen who was resting against a large tree, panting.

Naruto's nose was running and he searched his pockets for a tissue. He eventually found his last one and blew his nose, aware of the fact that it sounded like a very bad attempt at playing a trumpet.

_Why that damn cold!_

He was tired and cold and his back was hurting, but he didn't want to complain. Instead, he distracted himself by enjoying the picturesque scenery. The wind was not strong, but fairly audible as it let the small branches rattle.

"Wow. It's really beautiful. Hey look, there's a frozen lake down there!" he observed, pointing his index finger towards the large icy surface that was visible from where they were sitting. "Wait, are those guys running on it?"

"They might be ice-skating. And if you look to the right, you can see some people skiing. The Land of Snow has a very well-established winter sport industry due to the fact that winter is the only season here. I've been on a mission here a few years ago with Gai, and of course he wanted to use the opportunity to try out skiing. As you could expect, he dragged me into joining him, saying something about the importance of appreciating the Springtime of Youth even in the winter" Kakashi chuckled, as his peculiar comrade's cries of encouragement echoed in his mind.

"Hehe, that sounds just like him!" Naruto snickered. "Oh, but you never mentioned that you've been here before."

"This is my third mission in the Land of Snow, actually. Which is convenient because I still remember where the HQ is located. I presume it'll be a one-hour walk until we get there."

Naruto frowned in disappointment. _One whole hour?_ His bones were already frozen! They'd better hurry up, before any of their limbs started to rot like the corpses they had to carry.

"Okay, break-time is over, Kakashi-sensei! Let's move!"

He jumped and picked up the body, indicating that Kakashi should do the same.

"Your enthusiasm is admirable, Naruto. The next time Gai is assigned a mission in the Land of Snow, I might ask Lady Tsunade to let you accompany him," the silver-haired jounin chuckled.

"Gai-sensei is weird."

"I know."

"You're weird too, sensei."

"I know."

Naruto snorted.

"Don't flatter yourself!"

"Now, now, you don't have to say that. I actually always thought of myself as rather modest a person, unlike a certain someone," Kakashi said innocently.

"And who might that be?"

Kakashi shrugged.

"Oh, just a little knucklehead ninja who eats too much ramen."

"Hey! I'm not a little knucklehead! And one can never eat too much ramen."

"Of course not," Kakashi chuckled.

"Kakashi-sensei?"

"Yeah?"

"Ramen sounds so good now."

"Ramen always sounds good to you."

"Duh."

Naruto tilted a cocky grin at him and hastened his pace.

"Raaaamen…," he wailed, as if he were desperately searching for a lost friend.

"Careful, Naruto, the path we're walking on is quite slippery," the jounin chuckled. "You don't want to break a bone here, do you?"

"Tche, _you_ should be the one worrying about not breaking your bones, old man!"

"I'm _not_ old!" Kakashi insisted, when suddenly, Naruto slipped on the ice and fell on the ground, the corpse falling on top of him.

"**GODDAMNIT**!"

Kakashi could have chuckled or sniggered, or not even display his amusement at all. He could have controlled himself like he always did. But he didn't. Instead, he tilted his head back and burst out laughing.

_What the-_

"Hahaha, _very funny_!" Naruto scowled in angry humiliation and tried to get up, but much to his dismay his attempt had failed and he slipped on the frozen surface once again, causing the jounin to roar even louder. His howl was already echoing in the woods, and Naruto was definitely not imagining that.

_I've __never__ seen Kakashi crack up like that…! And owwwwww, my ass!_

"**THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT**!"

"Ihahahahha'm sorry, Nahaharuto!"

"Sorry for jinxing me, or for laughing at me like a castrated hyena?" he huffed, trying to sound furious and not start laughing himself.

Kakashi sucked some much needed air into his aching lungs. Fuck, his ribs hurt! But he managed to calm down, and when he had finally re-established his composure, he gave Naruto his goody-two-shoes eye smile and apologetically held out his hand to help Naruto stand up without losing his balance again.

"I guess that was what kids these days would call an 'epic fail deluxe'. Did you break a bone?"

"No, but I swear I'm this close to breaking one of your fragile old-man bones!"

"I'm _not_ old!"

And he started cracking up all over again, tightening his grip on the body so it wouldn't fall.

"Okay, would you rather your lungs tear? You shouldn't laugh so hard when the air is so freezing, or do you wanna catch a cold?"

"Don't worry, _Sakura-chan_. Now you know why I wear a mask. The air I inhale warms up as it passes through the fabric."

"Oh no, the cold is freezing your brain cells! My name is Naruto. Don't forget that. By the way, that excuse was a good one, but not convincing enough if you're not in a place as cold as here."

"It also protects me from pollen."

"_Pollen_, right," Naruto snorted, rolling his eyes.

"Of course. I wouldn't be that great a ninja if my hands were constantly pressing a tissue to my nose in battle."

"What about when you're not in battle, then?"

Kakashi shrugged.

"It keeps my nose from being exposed to all kinds of odors I rather not smell. Yours in particular."

"Hey, I'm not one of your dogs! And I bet you just hide that old mug of yours because it's so ugly!"

"I've been told that I am actually incredibly handsome."

"Oh, who told you that? Your hand?"

Kakashi had to laugh at that one.

"I've had my fair share of compliments, especially from those who get to see my face most frequently: the medics. They are horribly over-worked and always busy; I wouldn't want to burden them by being the cause of numerous unnecessary hospital admissions of people who would suffer from severe blood loss and faint if they saw my stunning looks," he said nonchalantly, making sure the mundane tone was back in his voice.

"Stunning? You believe that's the reason why people would faint if they saw your face?"

"Yes."

"Show me!"

Kakashi let out a sigh.

"Why is it that if someone told you there was free ramen in a dango-shop, you'd believe them, but if I tell you that I'm good-looking, you have to see it?"

"Anything ramen-related sounds more convincing than your excuses for keeping on that silly mask, or your excuses for being late all the time. You know that fable about the guy who repeatedly tricks nearby villagers into thinking a wolf is attacking his flock, and when a wolf actually does appear, the villagers don't take his cries for help seriously, and the flock is attacked? The moral of the story is that even if liars told the truth, one wouldn't believe them. "

"My, aren't we acting wise today, Naruto," Kakashi chuckled, but then remained silent for a while, and Naruto took that as an indication that he should stop pestering him, which made him a bit guilty.

"Sensei?"

"Yeah?"

"Why do you really wear the mask?"

...

"Because I want to."

_Okay. Leave him be, Naruto, just accept it... _

"Seems like a pretty good reason," he laughed, and Kakashi joined him.


End file.
